Women's Day 2025 Special Series : On The Road To Independence Fueled By Determination

Friday, March 7, 2025, 10:35

As the world gears up to celebrate Women's Day, Boldsky had the opportunity to speak with Asha Banazeer, a woman whose life story is a masterclass in perseverance. While many see success in exam results and career milestones, Asha's journey goes far beyond that. Born with a physical disability, she has spent her life defying limitations, proving that strength isn't about circumstances but about the spirit to rise above them.

A Life Of Challenges And Triumphs

"I was born as a physically disabled child," Asha begins, recalling her early struggles. "During my mother's pregnancy, she had high blood pressure and had to take medications, which doctors believed led to my condition. Though they assured my parents that my disability wouldn't be severe, I was born with only three fingers on each hand, and could only crawl instead of walking. Seeing my inability to do even the simplest tasks, my mother was deeply distressed."

Despite this initial setback, her mother played a crucial role in shaping her future. "She never fed me, despite my disability. Instead, she encouraged me to eat on my own and practice writing, no matter how difficult it was. This built my self-reliance and gave me the confidence to take on challenges."

Asha's schooling years were unconventional. "Until fourth standard, I studied at home. My mother was my first teacher, ensuring that I didn't miss out on an education. Later, I studied for three years in my mother's ancestral home and then moved to Asha Bhavan in Pathanapuram, a school for the physically disabled. Initially, it was difficult to adjust. I felt like I didn't belong, but I had no other option. Over time, I adapted and eventually completed my +2 education there."

Her thirst for education didn't stop there. Through sponsorship, she secured admission to Mar Ivanios College in Trivandrum, where she completed her B.Com. "College life was a new experience. I was away from home, living in a hostel, and facing the daily struggles of commuting and interacting with different people. It wasn't easy, but I learned to navigate through the difficulties."

Determined to secure a strong career, she pursued an MBA under M.G. University. "Except when I did my MBA, I had to stay in different hostels and face uncertainties. But amidst the struggles, I made friends who supported me and helped me grow. Their encouragement played a huge role in pushing me forward."

Marriage And Self-Realization

Two years after completing her MBA, Asha got married. "A man proposed to me at my home, and though my parents were hesitant initially as they were concerned if he would leave me midway due to my disability, we got married. After years of loneliness, I finally felt companionship. I entered a different world, one that seemed promising."

For many years, Asha enjoyed her married life and lost focus on her studies, believing that she had found stability. However, reality struck soon. "Problems started creeping in. We couldn't adjust to each other. Instead of appreciating each other's strengths, we started focusing on weaknesses. That's when I realized something crucial - financial independence is key for every woman."

Her biggest learning from her marriage was that nothing in life is permanent. "If you're not financially stable, marriage can leave you vulnerable. I had entered marriage without securing a job, and I don't want other women to make the same mistake."

Now divorced for a year, Asha is focusing on rebuilding her life. "I recently cleared the PSC LD Clerk exam and am doing a DC computer course. I have also learned how to ride a three-wheeler scooty, which has given me a newfound sense of freedom. My ambition is to build a life for myself, where no person's entry or exit affects me deeply. Every experience has been a lesson, and I hold no grudges."

The Biggest Roadblock For Women

According to Asha, societal expectations and family responsibilities are the biggest hurdles for women's progress. "For example, in a joint family, a woman has to finish all her household duties before stepping out. Even if she has a husband and children, most of the responsibilities fall on her. While things have changed compared to before, the burden still exists."

She firmly believes that financial independence can liberate women. "A girl should be financially stable and understand if she is matured enough to get married before tying the knot because marriage is not a silly affair. At the same time, before becoming a mother, a woman should be sure if she is ready for that responsibility. Only then should she start a family."

Women Who Inspire Her

Asha doesn't look up to just one woman; she finds inspiration in many. "I draw strength from multiple people. One person I deeply resonate with is Sherin Shahana IAS, a quadriplegic who overcame immense challenges to become an IAS officer. Her journey proves that nothing is impossible if you have determination."

Strength In Womanhood

For Asha, the biggest victory of a woman lies in her ability to adapt. "A woman can be a mother, a wife, a friend, or even live alone as a divorcee with strength and confidence. Women have an innate ability to rebuild themselves no matter what life throws at them. Meanwhile, a man in the same situation easily falls into depression. So, I am proud to be a woman."

Bridging The Gender Gap

When asked about gender equality, Asha shares her candid opinion. "Today's laws favor women, but they are not always implemented. A woman's voice is often unheard in families, and she is still expected to depend on a man. True equality means giving women real decision-making power and ensuring their opinions are valued in every sphere."

Overcoming Misconceptions And Challenges

One of the biggest misconceptions about Asha is regarding her divorce. "People ask why I left my husband when he seemed like a good person. But marriage is unpredictable. For 7 to 8 years, I didn't even realize what was happening in my own life. I can't explain or convince people about what went wrong."

She has also faced rejection due to her disability. "Though I had all the qualifications, I was rejected from private jobs because they didn't believe I could do the work but I never let it break me."

A Newfound Confidence

Recently, Asha learned to ride a scooty, and it has transformed her outlook on life. "I have never been able to walk or run in my life, and I always depended on others to go out. Now, driving by myself gives me an indescribable feeling of freedom and confidence. It makes me believe that I can move forward in life, no matter what."

A Message For Women's Day

"Be financially independent, earn your own money, drive your own car. That itself will bring change in society" she says. These words from Asha Banazeer echoes the spirit of empowerment, towards a future where women are unstoppable.

Asha's resilience in the face of adversity proves that real strength lies in self-belief and independence. As we are set to celebrate Women's Day, let's take inspiration from her story and work towards a world where every woman has the freedom to shape her own destiny, claim her space and rewrite her own narrative.