When Strength Becomes Expectation : Why ‘Superwoman’ Tag Is A Trap We Must Break Free From

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The dining room buzzed with laughter and conversation as glasses clinked in celebration of Ajith and Kavita's 35th wedding anniversary. The long wooden table was adorned with candles, plates filled with Kavita's homemade delicacies, and the rich aroma of spices that made everyone feel at home.

As Kavita moved around, ensuring everyone's plates were full, their friend Ravi leaned back in his chair, savoring a bite of the fragrant biryani. "Kavita, this is incredible," he said, shaking his head in admiration. "You really outdid yourself!"

Ajith, sitting at the head of the table, beamed with pride. "Of course, she did! Kavita is the superwoman of this house. She does everything with such perfection, I don't have to worry about anything when I come home from work."

There was a chorus of agreement. "Lucky man," someone said. "A true gem," added another.

Kavita smiled, nodding in gratitude, though something flickered in her eyes for just a moment, something no one noticed.

Her son, Rohan, leaned forward with a chuckle. "That's true, Ma takes care of everything. Dad never has to lift a finger."

Her daughter, Aditi, added with a teasing grin, "I think we got spoiled too! Ma, you really do make everything perfect."

More laughter. More admiration. More compliments.

Kavita smiled again, but this time, it felt heavier.

She glanced at her children-grown adults now, independent, capable. Yet, even tonight, they were guests in their own home. They hadn't stepped into the kitchen to help. Hadn't noticed how she had barely sat down to eat. They had just assumed, as always, that everything would be taken care of.

The night wore on with toasts, old stories, and shared memories. Kavita moved between the kitchen and the dining table, making sure no glass was empty, no plate unattended. She hurried to serve dessert, her bangles clinking as she wiped a spill before anyone could notice.

Finally, as the guests began to leave, they hugged her warmly.

"Everything was wonderful, Kavita," one of the women said. "You are truly an inspiration."

"Yes," another guest agreed. "I don't know how you do it. Managing the house, cooking such elaborate meals, and always with a smile!"

Kavita smiled again, the same practiced smile she had perfected over the years.

As the last guest stepped out, Ajith stretched his arms and yawned. "That was wonderful. You did an amazing job, Kavita," he said, pulling her into a quick hug. "I have an early morning tomorrow, though. Need to be at the office before eight. Goodnight!"

Rohan and Aditi stood up too. "We should head to bed, Ma. We'll help clean up in the morning, okay?"

Kavita wanted to tell them that the mess would still be hers to clean, that by morning, the dishes would already be washed, the floors already swept, the house back to its usual order. But she simply nodded. "Ok, goodnight"

And just like that, they disappeared into their rooms, leaving Kavita alone amidst the remnants of the celebration.

The house was silent now, except for the ticking of the clock.

She looked around-half-empty plates, glasses with smudged fingerprints, crumpled napkins. The once-beautifully set table was now a battlefield of leftovers. She exhaled slowly and began clearing up. She stacked plates, rinsed glasses, scrubbed away the stubborn stains of turmeric and oil, her back aching with every movement.

By the time the kitchen was spotless again, her hands were pruned from the dishwater, and her feet felt like lead.

She poured herself a glass of water and walked to the living room, sinking into the couch. The air still carried traces of laughter, of compliments, of admiration.

"Superwoman."

That word echoed in her mind. The word that had become both a compliment and a curse.

She had spent 35 years being everything for everyone-Ajith's perfect wife, Rohan and Aditi's ever-reliable mother, their relatives' go-to host, their friends' warm presence. She had made a home, built a life, ensured everyone around her felt loved and cared for.

But somewhere along the way, she had forgotten about herself.

She looked down at her hands-hands that had kneaded dough, packed tiffins, folded laundry, wiped tears, and carried burdens no one saw. Hands that had never rested.

A lump formed in her throat.

For the first time that evening, there was no one around to see her smile. So she didn't.

Instead, she let the exhaustion take over. Her shoulders shook as she buried her face in her hands, silent tears slipping down her cheeks.

The weight of perfection was heavier than ever.

The Burden Of Being A 'Superwoman'

The label of 'superwoman' is often seen as a compliment, highlighting a woman's ability to balance multiple responsibilities with grace. However, as seen in Kavita's story, this seemingly empowering title can be a double-edged sword. While it suggests strength and capability, it also places an unrealistic expectation on women-to be everything for everyone, without room for exhaustion or struggle.

An Unrealistic Benchmark

Being called a 'superwoman' implies an almost mythical ability to manage work, family, home, and social expectations effortlessly. However, this expectation creates immense pressure. Women may feel that any deviation from perfection means failure. Kavita, for instance, was celebrated for her ability to host a flawless party, yet no one noticed the weight of her exhaustion. The more she delivered, the more was expected of her-without question.

The Silent Struggle

One of the most damaging aspects of the 'superwoman' stereotype is that it discourages seeking help. It reinforces the belief that women must handle everything alone, making it harder to admit when they are overwhelmed. Kavita's silent tears at the end of the night symbolize this struggle-she is exhausted but continues to carry the load, unseen and unacknowledged.

Burnout And Emotional Toll

Constantly striving to meet these high expectations can lead to burnout. The emotional and physical toll of always being "on" leaves little room for self-care. Kavita's story reflects this reality-while everyone else enjoyed the celebration, she worked tirelessly behind the scenes, only to be left alone with the mess once the party was over. The weight of perfectionism can drain joy from moments that should be fulfilling.

The Myth Of Solitary Success

The 'superwoman' title often ignores the role of support systems. It paints a picture of individual success while disregarding the importance of shared responsibilities. Kavita's family admired her, but they didn't step in to ease her burden. True strength is not about handling everything alone but about knowing when to seek help and distribute responsibilities fairly.

Redefining Strength This Women's Day

With Women's Day around the corner, it's time to redefine what strength and success truly mean. Strength is not about enduring without complaint-it's about recognizing limits, sharing responsibilities, and allowing oneself to rest. Women deserve appreciation, not just for what they do but for who they are, beyond societal expectations.

It's time to remove the 'superwoman' tag and replace it with something better: a woman who is strong, supported, and unapologetically human.