The Yoga of Marriage

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I want to tell you today about my life experiences about how to achieve marital success. Yoga is about union, between man and God and between a woman and her husband. At an appropriate time you may become ready and deserving of such union.

Well I may have some old fashioned thinking and you may not like all of my thoughts. But, I hope that irrespective of this you gain some ideas for your own or possible future .

The first thing to say is that marital success is a contradiction in terms. If you are married then you have achieved marital success. There is no such thing as an unsuccessful .

Nowadays there is much strife in many s. A man or a woman wears a wedding ring or has been married in a church or at a registry office and thinks that he or she is married. By my definition, they are not in a state of yoga and are therefore not married.

The first step in achieving marital success is to want it. Or actually, you need to want Him (Union with God). In everything you do, everything you say and everything you feel you want to be with Him. You want to do what He wants you to do and not anything else.

Well in this life what you want and what you may get are not necessarily the same. If He wants marital union with you and you want it with Him then you have it. In other words, achieving marital success depends only on Him.

So, in the Yoga Philosophy of Patanjali, Patanjali sets out ten ethical and moral principles of living which will help God decide whether He wants you to be married to Him. Principles of what to do and what not to do (non violence, non stealing and so forth).

The above guidelines are all that you need for divine union whether you are a man or a woman. But, what is non violence for a woman married to a man? It is not hurting Him. The centre of your attention and all the principles of Yoga need to be interpreted with care and they relate only to God, not to anybody else.

In today's world emotions play a predominant part and it is the brain rather than the heart that is employed in all our undertakings. Mostly, having lost touch with the heart, all our actions are the product of emotionality and calculation.

There is often much strife in the lives of a man and a woman living together. He gets upset over something she has or has not done or vice versa resulting in squabbles and quarrels. After some period which depends on the level of emotional stability (a few seconds or it could be days or months), calculation takes over.

When one starts calculating one starts to ponder, Am I better off with or without him or her? It is this latter factor that determines whether a man or a woman will stay with the other during the period when he or she is emotionally not troubled. Being better off is of course not just a question of money but is itself a complicated product of many aspects and factors.

Since a man and a woman are typically calculating their optimal strategies, the avoidance of emotional upset is simply a matter of compromise and trade-off. You need to make adjustments and offer calculated strategic trades which have a reasonable chance of being accepted such that the number of emotional disturbances to your joint lives is minimized. The art of successful living together is simply trying hard to assess which calculated compromises and actions/inactions will minimize strife.

to Him may also be a stressful process But the calculation of optimal living together strategies over here is not necessary.