Do Men Hate Live In Relationship: Reasons

By Madhu Babu

When you fill a room with men and divide them with men preferring a live-in relation to those who oppose it, the house can end divided vertically into identically equal portion.

Even though most men, especially urban young, prefer a live in relationship over marriage, most others who are traditional by nature and have grown up old school prefer a more conservative approach.

Do Men Hate Live In Relationship: Reasons

Live-in relationship is yet to be recognised in many countries and laws are yet to be established to deal with the idea. Two people consummating their relationship without marriage is still a taboo in major eastern cultures.

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However, most western cultures have come to terms and accepted live-in relationship that is being embraced by majority of youths there.

It can be argued that most short cuts in life prove costly in long run and are among bad ideas. Live in relationship is one such short cut many seem to choose over more traditional and lifetime relationship and bonding through marriage.

Since it is yet to be proven regarding fruitful benefits live in relationships over long run, many men prefer to play by the book and prefer either dating or marriage.

Social stigma
For many men it is the social stigma of being in a live in relationship that keeps them from arms length of preferring it. Though live-in relationships are a rising trend in urban India, our society is yet to accept it open-heartedly. It is still seen as ‘taboo', especially by the elderly people. Often such couples are seen as social deviants, which mean that they are berated, criticised and often harassed for their individual choice.

Easy way out
The very advantage of being in a live-in relationship, is its biggest disadvantage as well, which is lack of commitment. Anything from a small fight, disagreement, or a misplaced question can see either of the partners walking out of the relationship. When a couple is married they will make every possible effort to save their relationship and seek solutions to problems and misunderstanding before choosing to split up.

Child factor
The children who are born in a live-in relationship are many times affected by it in many ways. Firstly, they may develop a lack of respect for rules and norms. Many such children are abandoned due to lack of love and care offered by the parents, who may or may not be together forever. Most men can't bear a thought of doing such a thing like going against their will to raise a child or totally abandon them either.

Lack of dependability
One cannot depend on one's partner to the same extent as is possible in marriage. The shoulder is there for certain occasions, but it may not be there in bad times. It lacks the depth of a married relationship. Since there is no strong commitment present in a live in relationship, partners can abandon each other when the other person is major trouble.

Lack of respect
Since there is no guarantee of a long term relationship that comes with a marriage, live in relationship is built on uncertainty and non committal ground. This results in lack of respect for each other and keeps things on the edge of the relationship as there is no knowing when one of the partner walks out of the relationship.

Story first published: Thursday, December 19, 2013, 18:49 [IST]
Read more about: relationship advice