What a man looks for in a woman?

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MEN, the only word that causes in women a 'logical blackout'. The invincible logic and intelligence women possess suddenly seem to stop working when that M-word hits them hard.

"What does he really want? What does he actually look for? Its really hard to understand men." These words can be heard at least once when two or more women meet up.

So today let us enter the male psyche to try and understand what really happens there.

Of all the men I met in my life, one thing I have learnt about them is that they like to keep things simple and clear. It has to be as simple as a 'yes' or 'no'. Everything for them has to be either 'black' or 'white' and nothing 'grey'. But, ironically, I feel, women are almost entirely made up of grey. This is where the whole problem lies.

The easiest way for a woman to keep her man happy is to tell him frankly and clearly what she really wants. Even if you are waiting for compliments then, I am sorry to tell this, but, he will not realise and you have to ask him, "How do I look?" Now this does not end here. He will look at you, his lady love, and say, "You look beautiful, my dear." Immediately you reply, "I know you are lying. You say that just to make me happy." And there the confusion begins. This happens because men lack sensitivity. He does not understand as to why he should be lying and you don't realise that he will compliment only if you deserve it.

Another thing a man will like to see in his woman is her self-dependence. A woman must be able to take care of herself and be independent. Men don't like it if women are over-dependent on them. Any man would always love it if you have an identity and life of your own. This means that you should pay attention to your personal needs and find time to hang out with your family and friends. Your life should not begin and end at him. There has to be something that you would like to do without his interference. Just because you are in relationship with a man, it does not mean you should not have a girls' night out.

Now, being self-dependent is different from leading a completely independent life. You certainly don't have to lead an independent life but he will love it if you lead an inter-dependent life. This means that you should be willing to do some little things or small jobs for him so as to help him out. For instance, if you have a marketing guy as your boy friend who keeps travelling on official purposes then you can help him by dropping his laundry at the dry cleaners. Or if your boy friend has just moved into a new house, you can help him arrange his living room or the bedroom. These are small things to do but these small gestures always have a great impact. He will surely love it if you pay attention to his needs and take care of him. But then don't over do it. Always remember he has his right to privacy and you should not be invading it.

There is one more important thing to note. Men hate being pressurised. Men have an aversion to pressure. Your frequent calls asking him to spend time with you might actually push him away from you. Also don't start pressing too much for that another M-word, marriage. The more you pressurise the more he will hesitate. Take things light and give him time to get back to you. Till then enjoy your relationship and let it be as it is.

Lastly, always look good. Men always look for pleasing outward appearance. They want the woman in their life to look good, be well dressed, have clear, bright eyes, be physically fit, have lustrous hair and clean nails. Men have inclination towards anything that has strong visual appeal. So, take care of your body and place it first on the priority list.

Knowing all the above elements will surely help you stabilise and keep your relationship healthy. But don't forget that relationship involve give and take. Don't be too demanding at the same time don't just give up what you deserve.