Tips To Be A Good Step Dad

By Madhu Babu

It is a major step forward when you are becoming a step father. To become a dad with birth of new child is totally different to becoming a step father. You will have lot of new challenges that separate those from taking mantle of fatherhood. You grow as a father with your new born child, wherein the bonding is natural and smooth. When becoming a step dad, you are filling in someone else's shoes, making it difficult to judge compatibility with the kids who are accustomed to their actually dad.

You have to approach the kids with utmost care and respect their bond with their natural father. You must have patience in waiting for their acceptance. Sometimes it happens quickly when you hit off and things fall in place. However, most times, the transition takes time and kids need time to get used to you and accept you're as their step dad. It will all be new and hard on their part to let a stranger into their inner circle.

One of the big things that separate step-fatherhood from fatherhood is that your step-children already have fathers. Fathers that, chances are, they love very much. Fathers whose authority is much better established than yours. Whatever you do, don't try to step into his place. Make your own niche and way to connect and bond with them. Give them space and try not to be too authoritative.

Be patient

Be patient

Often, the child is deeply wounded by circumstances involving their biological mother and father and the breakdown of their primary, original family unit. For many, building a new relationship is threatening to them. Time is the best healer but so is keeping actively positive and supporting yourself whenever you're around the child.

Spending time

Spending time

Helping with schoolwork, projects, and attending sporting events or clubs like scouting they're involved with will show them you're willing to support their efforts. The more involved you are, the sooner the child will accept you in your role of alternative dad and be grateful that you're a part of his or her life too.

Children time

Children time

If you happen to have children of your own, you can dedicate some time to let them mingle and have some good time with your new step children. Taking time off for such get together will help in bonding and helping your children and yourself bond well with your step children. It would also show how important they are to you and how much you care to treat them equally.

Communicate

Communicate

Let your stepchild know that you are available to talk whenever needed and be a good listener when your stepchild does come to you for a chat. Be open-minded and accepting of difference, as the child has had different experiences before you came along. Communication is the best means to bond intimately with your step children.

Give them privacy

Give them privacy

No matter how eager you are to bond and connect with your step children, you still have to respect their privacy and space. It is polite and kind to ask for their permission for things involving them. No matter how big a role you take in their lives, they will still have their actually dad, whom they might prefer to follow.

Supportive

Supportive

This is a major aspect of being a good step dad. You have to be supportive in their life and choices they make. After all it is their life and they have all the rights and privilege to choose their paths. The best you can do as a step dad is to be supportive and encouraging at all times.

Story first published: Tuesday, December 17, 2013, 22:00 [IST]
Read more about: parenting kids