How To Get Over The Trauma That You Are Ditched By Your Girlfriend?

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The breakup of an important love relationship is the most traumatic of human experiences and most of us have suffered through at least one I am sure. The loss of a relationship can be incredibly hard - you can feel so much pain. There's not only the grief from losing someone important in your life, but the pain of seeing your hopes and dreams of a future life together disappear as well.

Break ups are never easy. Your mood can swing from depression to bitter anger. The only thing you seem to think about is what went wrong, can I get her back or I'll show her. The main theme in your life is 'How can I feel better right now?' Here are some suggestions that I hope will help.

Ways of coping with the loss

* The first step is to accept your hurt as normal and expected. Confront it openly and honestly, but in small, manageable doses.

* Don't try to immediately repress the hurt. You may only succeed in pushing it beneath the surface where it will eventually make itself manifest in some undesirable, hard-to-uncover form--a general mistrust of affection, a lowered self-concept, general hostility, or whatever.

Make a change in your life. Find a new way to spend your time. Take a class, join a gym, adopt a pet, or volunteer. Do anything that will make you feel good about yourself.

* If you feel like crying; cry. If you feel like ripping up a pillow; rip it up. If it feels good to tear the person's pictures in a thousand pieces and then set fire to them; do that too. As long as you know that afterward you can live with whatever you do.

* Friends and Family. I know this may seem obvious but lean on your friends and family. Spend time doing things together, not just talking and thinking about the break up. If this isn't enough, you may consider a support group or counseling.

* Resist the urge to beg. You want them back but not at any price. At the time it may seem the right thing to do but think about it. In the long run they will lose respect for you. This doesn't mean don't try to work things out. If there is a chance you can work things out, go for it. However, if your partner has made it clear that in their eyes, the relationship is over, begging will not help and may hurt the situation.

* Make a change in your life. Find a new way to spend your time. Take a class, join a gym, adopt a pet, or volunteer. Do anything that will make you feel good about yourself. Your ego is probably feeling bruised right now. Find a way to counteract that.

* Understand your mistakes but also realize that you are not a failure. Don't beat yourself up. If you made mistakes, then yes, learn from them but dwelling on what might have been won't help. It takes two to make a relationship, it also takes two to end one. You weren't the only one who made mistakes. It may not seem useful to you now, but a lot of times the things you learned from this experience will make your next relationship stronger, as long as you make the necessary changes.

* Don't fall prey to others. There will be people trying to sell you this or that, guaranteed to win back your partner. Don't let people take advantage of you while you are vulnerable. If you do buy something, understand that while there is a chance it could help, there is also a chance that it won't.