A First Person Account Of Pre-Marriage Blues - Part I Contd

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One other thing that gives a lot of people cold feet is the thought of standing on the stage all decked up to receive guests. Friends have confessed that this is often the most difficult part. If you're the self-conscious sort, you'll be worried sick wondering what your friends are giggling about (and if you have the kind of friends I have, you may be sure they'll point you out to others and giggle, and make you feel extremely ridiculous).

I've always thought the reason guys have a stag party a day before the marriage is to drive away the blues. Drink yourself silly and forget everything, seems to be the idea. And of course, the thing that's discussed most on this occasion is the First Night. Guys who have never been with women seek tips from those more experienced. The real shy guys don't even have the courage to buy a condom and many is the wedding where I've slipped a pack into the groom's pocket along with an envelope. Believe me!

The thought of the First Night really gives many guys the blues, though few will ever admit it. Of course, every man thinks he's a stud and when the time comes suffers from performance anxiety. Men discuss this with close friends when they're about to get married. As much as they look forward to it they're worried as well. They don't want to fumble around like a monkey with a new toy on the big night. I've often had a hilarious time at the expense of about-to-be-married friends discussing the wedding night.

I can't say much about women, but yes they go through the blues too, I'm sure. I've had women friends confiding in me at the last minute saying they're playing blind and hoping for the best. "What will happen, will happen," is what most of them say. They all become very fatalistic at the last minute. I'm sure they're plagued by the same worries as everyone else. Most of them only hope that their husband turns out to be a decent human being and (most, most important!!) that the in-laws are tolerable. I've noticed that those going into joint-families seem to be often very apprehensive, and the ones who plan to live separately with their husband are usually more cheerful.

As I've said before, I've had a lot of laughs over my friends' marriage blues. Some times, their fears are really amusing - The only worry a close friend seemed to have was that he would have to shave every day after marriage. It was something his would-be had insisted on, he said. To each his own, I suppose. To some the thought of shaving every day is a greater agony than worrying about where the next meal will come from. It's always the seemingly insignificant things that make people miserable. Why should it be any different for marriages?