Relationship Between Step Parents and Children

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There were days I used to spend sleepless nights fearing that my mother's words would come true. Whenever my sister were mischivious my mother would tell, "I am fed up with you girls! I will leave this house and your father will bring a stepmother to look after you. Then you will learn a lesson". My father would also use the same tactic when his turn arose. However those words stopped us from being overly naughty. We never wanted to get separated from our dear parents and at the worst to have a stepparent to look after us.

I always had wrong notions about stepmothers through Cindrella stories and teleserials, which depict stepparents in a villainous role. I am surprised now that I carried the idea with me until I reached my graduation classes. My aunt passed away and my uncle was left with two school kids. One year after my aunt's death, my cousins started to pressurise uncle for a second marriage. I had the worst feelings in mind and tried to dissuade my cousins from that adventure. However they were adamant. Now they are blessed with true motherly love from their stepmother and many of their friends consider aunt as their real mother.

The incident was an eye opening experience for me. In our society there are many children who are thrown out of the love of their parents due to many ill-fated incidents. A family cannot be blissful without the loving union of father, mother and kids. Many stepparents find it difficult to attain due recognition in their new families. Irrespective of the love they show towards their partner's and own kids, many stepparents undergo severe mental tortures. The intruding relatives may ignite troubles on small issues between stepparents and children. The situation gets worsened when a new baby is born in the second marriage.

Children who suffer the loss of their parents may find it difficult to accept a new person. The young kids may be terrified at the idea of a stepparent at an initial stage due to the same wrong notions that I possessed. They may find it quite depressing if their stepparent scolds them or corrects them for their mistakes. They may often feel neglected or alienated from their own parents' love when a stepparent arrives. They may not be tolerant in their immature stage to adjust with their stepparent's kids. To add up these feelings some of the relatives make some hurting remarks about the kids or stepparent's behavior.

The relationship between stepparents and children are delicate in the beginning, but will be unbroken once it has been established. The stepparents must take the initiary step to establish a loving relationship with children and to take their confidence. As a first step the parents and children can go for counselling. They must be aware of the necessity of such a relationship. The stepparents must ward off the evil eyed comments from relatives and detain such relatives from entering their premises. Both the partners in a steprelation must find time to spend for their own children as well as the partner's children and must encourage the kinship among them. There will be primary rejections from the children, but; once they start to trust their stepparents, the relationship will remain unchallenged.