Adolescence- Path To Self Identity

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She is a cocoon trying to break free... as a beautiful butterfly. She is all set to explore the world in her own exquisiteness. She says she wants to fly and you ask her to stay back... the tug off war. This is the generation gap. Face it.

The difference in opinion, lifestyle, attitude, even in the way we sit and stand lead to lot of arguments, unable to solve and understand different age groups. A regular scene in most of our houses today

The teen girls are confused with mixed messages by different people from a varied walks of life like the teacher's, friends, elders and parents on how to look, how to act and feel. The confused lad is sure to take an unknown or mixed path or any that seems easy and thus landing into a lot of problems. Adolescence is a very fragile time for girls. They start behaving like fearsome creatures that hate to be guided and advised.

This age may lead to many psychological problems, depression, lack of self-confidence, varied addiction, sexual involvement, and violence if the parents or the elders fail to react in the right way.

Just think on the minute topic, on the clothes she wears. Is your daughter happy with what you ask her to wear? Are you aware if she's being teased or praised for your choice of attire? This happens most of the time with the teen girls who are teased mercilessly for wearing the wrong outfit in the friends group. She fears that she will be left out and starts having fierce battles with the parents for making her a clown. It's a matter of fact that at this age they try to behave like the sensuous filmstars to get the attention of the crowd. It's the duty of the parent to understand her deepest building desires. Do not stop her from thinking that way but show her the difference. Keep telling her she is the most beautiful girl in the world that will build her confidence level and will help her to carry herself with self-esteem. Do not compare her to her peers and say that the other one is better, but do tell her when she needs to be corrected in a satisfactory manner.

A lot of girl's problem is to do with the relationships she shares with others like parents, siblings, teachers, friends, boyfriends, etc. Girls are pushed into being someone that they aren't for the sake of maintaining these relationships. She becomes the object of other lives and looses her identity. And after a certain age it's hard to bring her self back. Why impose something that isn't hers? Let her experience life her own way. Let her explore though it is risky. As the expert says, adolescent risk taking is healthy. It helps them to grow by trying new things. They start testing themselves and their abilities. Be in all this be with them and assure them that you are there.

Now, put yourself in a situation when you want to ask her some sensitive questions. Relating to pornography, sex and addiction. Do not blurt out, are you having sex? Or did you ever fag or booze? And do not be in position to slap back if her answer is yes. This act will let her do all those acts keeping it a hard cored secret unless and until she falls into a deep pit. The better way would be making the same question impersonal by adding, do your friends smoke or drink or have boyfriends? This will help her open up and both of you may end up being great friends for life. Friendship is the only way through which you can win their confidence. Tackle the situation in a smart way for both of you to be on the safer side. Make it a win-win situation for both.

Every stage of life is a mystery. It has its own flaws and first-class quality. Make it a memorable one with good intensity of belief and love. You can make a difference in your daughter's life. Help her to build her own identity in the society.