Enduring Autism Through Vedanta-Part II (Contd)

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Why cannot we sit in that Reality all day? Obviously, the answer is our mind. What is mind? Mind is nothing but series of thoughts. For us to know the Reality, our mind will have to go beyond all thoughts, all mental modifications. How can it be done? Let us take one thought and investigate it with respect to time. Let us take one sentence of a thought and then the first word. As we think that first word, that word goes to the past. Theoretically, as we think the first syllable of that word, that syllable goes to the past. Nay, theoretically even the first letter of that word goes to the past as we think. Where is that full sentence? It has gone to the past except, may be, the last letter. All our thoughts are thus vanishing into the dead past. Alas, we don"t remember most of them!! They have just vanished into the abyss of the past! We can recall just a few. Then, why do we think so many inconsequential thoughts? Out of habit, out of desires arising out of attachment.

Habit, we can overcome with lots of practice. How about desires? Let us analyse desire with respect to time. What is a 'desire"? Simply put, desire is a want to experience again a past event in the future. For example, I enjoyed mango ice cream a week ago. Tomorrow, I want it again. That is a desire. Apparently, it is quite innocent and simple. But, in actuality, it is not so simple. Why? First, one needs money to buy ice cream. One has to toil hard to get money. One needs a job in the first place.

Second, even if you have the money and go to the ice cream place, they may not have that flavour on that day. We become upset. Moreover, too much ice cream may not be healthy; we may get diabetes. We worry about health also. Above all, remember tomorrow is future—yet to come. Anything can happen. We may even die today. What guarantee is there that the desire would be fulfilled? A simple ice cream desire causes so many restless thoughts in our mind. Actually, it is not one desire that we are after but thousands of them. How can our mind be peaceful or be without thoughts?

A desire, even when fulfilled, is transient, because present is vanishing and fleeting. When not fulfilled, we are angry and upset. Life is an evanescent repetition of the same things and we are so ignorant of it. Hence, we need to pray to God for His blessings because just an intellectual understanding does not lead us to realization.

About the author

The author of this article is an unusual writer. He suffers from autism, a brain development disorder. Overcoming all handicaps that an autistic has to face, Krishna, thanks to the care and dedication of his parents, has a B.Sc. level Electrical Engineering degree. His autobiography, Wasted Talent, Musings of an Autistic is an engaging account of his struggles and achievements. His other two books include Quest, Search for a Quality Life and A Tender Melody, a novel. Reading Swami Vivekananda's lectures on Jnana Yoga and some other writings has been a great event in his life. In the following article, he has tried to present some of the Vedantic ideas of Swamiji in the context of facing chronic illness in general and autism in particular.

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