Dowry Violence In India: How Women Can Tackle Dowry Demands? Fearless Ways To Say 'No' To Them

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'Ek kapde me ladki bhej dijiye, humey aur kuch nehi chahiye' (Just send the girl, we don't need anything else). And this is followed by - 'but where will they both sleep?', 'fridge is not a luxury but a necessity these days,' 'where will they keep their essentials?' and slowly when it becomes worse, and finally the new brides hear those golden words (literally) - 'How much gold did you bring from your house?' , 'How about a house instead, or cash is also fine with us, it will benefit the girl only'.

You get the drift, right? And the sad part is, it not only happens in an arranged marriage setup but even if you are marrying your childhood sweetheart, there is absolutely no guarantee that yours will be a dowry-free marriage. So, in this nation, big fat weddings are not known for their culture and tradition, but also for the dowry demands.

Since it has been made illegal, people still receive or ask for it in the form of gifts. India's dowry violence is an age-old problem it is women and their families who bear the brunt of it most of the time.

According to National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) report, in 2021, 6753 dowry cases were registered in the country. The number of cases registered under the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961 during 2018, 2019 and 2020 are 12826, 13307 and 10366 respectively. Further, the cases registered under Dowry Deaths during these years are 7167, 7141 and 6966 respectively.

The data shows a decline in the number of cases both under the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961 and Dowry Deaths in the year 2020 over the years 2018 and 2019. But, when the majority of the dowry cases or deaths go unregistered, then it puts this data in question.

What Is Dowry?

The Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961 (Act No. 28 of 1961) mentions that 'Dowry' means any property or valuable security given or agreed to be given either directly or indirectly.

a. By one party to a marriage to the other party to the marriage, or
b. By the parent of either party to a marriage or by any other person, to either party to the marriage or to any other person at or before 3 [or any time after the marriage] 4 [in connection with the marriage of the said parties, but does not include] dower or mahr in the case of persons to whom the Muslim Personal Law (Shariat) applies.

Here's How You Can tackle Dowry Demands, Fearless Ways To Say 'No' To Them.

1. Inform And Communicate With Your Family

Understand that women are an asset and not a liability to pass on to some other family at a certain price or cost. There is absolutely no reason to succumb to pressure simply for the fact that you are a girl or belong to a girl's family whenever the groom's family place their demands. So, before preparing yourself for the fight ahead, communicate and inform your family first. Staying stable and not losing your cool by taking a sensible approach is the best way to deal with it. So, whenever, you or your family member will come to know about dowry demands, both will be on the same page to tackle it.

2. Let Your Voice Be Heard

Doesn't matter if it is an arranged marriage or a love marriage set-up, if you are planning to get married, be clear about your views on dowry demands. For a person who is emotionally invested in a relationship and loves you no matter what, dowry will be the last thing they will even think of. If the groom or the groom's family is pro-dowry, simply shut that door. Paying someone to get married to you is probably the last thing you want for yourself.

3. Dowry Is A Punishable Offence

The Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961 (Act No. 28 of 1961) mentions that 'Dowry' means any property or valuable security given or agreed to be given either directly or indirectly. Even if your wedding and partner are perfect, in case there is a post marriage demand for dowry, remind them that it is a punishable offence under Section 4 of the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961 and people who demand them are liable to be jailed for at least 6 months to 2 years.

4. Take A Stand For Yourself And Your Family

Dowry was never a part of Indian tradition and yet even today, some people discard this idea and practice this. Forcefully giving something to someone is never called a gift. Gifts are given out of love and don't cause pain or hurt to the giver. Even if you are halfway through your marriage ceremony and hear that the groom's family is asking for dowry demands to be met then it is better to either remind them it is illegal or to call if off immediately.

5. Say No To Marriage That Comes With Dowry Demands

If you are on the alter or mandap and there all of a sudden dowry demand is made then stand up for yourself and your family members. One brave decision can save you from a lifetime of suffering and you will never have to bear the feeling of getting trapped with a family whose demands keep on increasing with time. Understanding it is not a wedding that is taking place out of love and do not become a victim of viscious schemes. Also, it is best to report to the police along with the evidence and that person can be put behind bars. You will not only save yourself by doing this but become an inspiration for many women.

6. Hold On To Your Self-Worth

If you are educated, financially independent and understand your rights, then neither you nor your family should be stressed when it comes to marriage. Knowing who you are and what you want will help you to establish clear boundaries with your partner or partner's family. Well, India's skewed sex ratio never did anyone good, except for one. Don't worry if a guy rejects you for dowry or vice versa, since there are 940 girls per 1000 boys, you will still have plenty of options to choose from and find the right one for yourself.