When Words Don’t Match Feelings : The Subtle Art Of Passive-Aggressive Behaviour

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Aaradhya and Riteish's marriage hadn't always been this way. There was a time when conversations flowed effortlessly, when stolen glances across crowded rooms spoke volumes, and when coming home to each other was the highlight of the day. But over the years, something had changed. Their love was still there, but buried beneath unspoken words, responsibilities, and the quiet war of passive-aggressive remarks.

A Forgotten Anniversary

Aaradhya had spent the entire day preparing a special dinner-his favourite, paneer butter masala, jeera rice, and gulab jamun. A soft golden glow filled the flat from the candles she had lit. The clock struck ten. Then eleven. By midnight, the food had gone cold, and so had her hopes.

When Riteish finally walked in, exhausted and distracted, she didn't shout or demand an apology. Instead, she smiled and said, "Oh wow, you're home? I was beginning to think you'd been kidnapped."

Riteish, oblivious, chuckled. "Sorry, Aaru. Work was mad today. We had a last-minute meeting, and it dragged on forever."

Aaradhya nodded, keeping her voice light. "Oh, of course. I mean, who even remembers silly things like anniversaries when spreadsheets and client calls exist?"

Riteish frowned. "Anniversary?" He glanced at the date on his phone, realisation dawning. "Shit, Aaradhya... I completely forgot."

She let out a small laugh, shaking her head. "No, no, don't be dramatic. It's just the day we vowed to spend our lives together. Nothing compared to an important meeting, right?"

He sighed, rubbing his temples. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

She picked up the untouched plates from the table, her movements precise, controlled. "Oh, no rush! We could celebrate it next year, or maybe the one after that? I hear tenth anniversaries are a big deal. Might as well wait."

Riteish watched her, sensing the sharpness beneath her words. "I really am sorry, Aaru."

She offered him a small, tight-lipped smile. "I know." And then she walked into the kitchen, leaving him standing there, guilt gnawing at him.

The Sarcasm Grows

Days passed, and Aaradhya didn't explode in anger. She didn't demand extravagant gestures to make up for his mistake. Instead, she let her sarcasm do the talking.

One morning, as he grabbed his laptop bag, she handed him a tiffin and said sweetly, "Here, since I barely see you anymore, I thought I'd send a little piece of home with you. It's like having a wife... but portable."

Riteish sighed. "Aaradhya, come on-"

She placed a hand over her heart dramatically. "Wow, you still remember my name? I was worried you'd forgotten that too."

His shoulders tensed. "This again? I said I was sorry."

She shrugged. "Oh, I know! And I'm acknowledging your apology in the best way, with deeply loving sarcasm."

He opened his mouth to argue, then closed it, realising he was already running late. "We'll talk tonight?"

She sipped her tea, raising a brow. "Oh, I'd love to, but I think I'll have to book an appointment first. Your schedule's pretty packed."

The Breaking Point

Aaradhya channelled all her unspoken frustrations into writing. What started as journal entries turned into a novel-one about a woman in a marriage where love existed but words didn't. When it got published and became a hit, everyone praised her for capturing the quiet grief of a failing relationship so perfectly. Everyone, except Riteish.

One night, he sat with the book in his hands, reading the underlined passages over and over. The weight of her words sank into him like stones.

When Aaradhya walked into the living room, she found him staring at the book like it was a puzzle he couldn't solve.

"You read it," she said simply.

He looked up, pain flickering in his eyes. "Is this how you feel?"

She met his gaze, her expression unreadable. "Does it sound familiar?"

Silence stretched between them, thick with the weight of all the times she had spoken and he had failed to listen.

Riteish exhaled sharply. "Aaradhya, I..." He stopped, realising that an apology wouldn't fix this. That words alone wouldn't be enough anymore.

For the first time, he saw her-not just as his wife, not just as someone who was always there, but as a woman who had been fighting to be heard.

"I don't want you to have to write about love that's slipping away," he said quietly. "I don't want to be the reason you feel invisible."

She swallowed hard. "Then stop making me fight for your attention, Riteish. Stop making me beg for something you once gave freely."

This time, he didn't just say "I'm sorry." He showed it. He came home early. He put his phone away when they talked. He asked about her day and actually listened. He started leaving small notes for her-nothing grand, just simple things like, 'Loved the breakfast today.' or 'I missed you.'

Slowly, the sarcasm in her voice faded. Real conversations replaced the passive-aggressive remarks. And one evening, as they sat together in comfortable silence, Aaradhya turned to him and said, "Wow. You're here. Not just physically, but actually here. Should I be worried?"

Riteish smiled, intertwining his fingers with hers. "No. You should just get used to it."

And for the first time in a long time, she believed him.

Passive-Aggressive Behaviour : The Silent Strain In Relationships

Passive-aggressive behaviour, often disguised as sarcasm, avoidance, or procrastination, can damage relationships by creating distance and unresolved resentment. Instead of openly expressing frustration, individuals engage in subtle, indirect behaviours that leave the other person confused or guilty. Aaradhya's frustration with Riteish isn't voiced directly but seeps through her sarcastic remarks and emotional withdrawal, leaving him guessing rather than understanding what is truly wrong.

1. Sarcasm As A Shield For Hurt

Passive-aggressive individuals often use sarcasm to express emotions they struggle to confront directly. When Riteish forgets their anniversary and apologises, Aaradhya dismisses it with exaggerated humour, remarking that they could always celebrate it in a decade instead, since that's apparently the next milestone worth remembering. Though her words seem playful, they carry a weight that makes Riteish uncomfortable, forcing him to feel guilty without her explicitly addressing her disappointment. Instead of a conversation about her feelings, he is left navigating her indirect discontent.

2. Avoidance And Withholding Communication

Rather than openly discussing her hurt, Aaradhya starts retreating into her own world, answering Riteish's questions with nonchalant yet pointed remarks. When he suggests they sit down and talk, she dryly notes that she might need to book an appointment first, given how busy he always seems. The frustration is evident, but she avoids confrontation, making him feel at fault without clearly stating why. This kind of indirect response makes it difficult for issues to be resolved, as it shifts the responsibility onto the other person to decode emotions rather than addressing them head-on.

3. Expressing Frustration Indirectly

Instead of directly telling Riteish how she feels, Aaradhya channels her emotions into writing, pouring her unspoken frustrations into the pages of her novel. The protagonist in her story feels invisible in her marriage, unheard despite being present, and as Riteish casually flips through the pages one evening, he begins to recognise unsettling similarities between fiction and reality. It is only then that he realises how deeply his absence has affected Aaradhya-not because she told him, but because she hoped he would piece it together himself. This is a classic example of passive-aggressiveness: expressing emotions through indirect means rather than direct communication, leading to delayed understanding and prolonged tension.

4. The Emotional Toll Of Passive-Aggressive Behaviour

When passive-aggressiveness replaces honest communication, it highlights resentment rather than resolution. Aaradhya's silence and sarcasm create an emotional distance between her and Riteish, making him feel like an outsider in his own marriage. He starts to pick up on the lingering tension but finds himself unsure of how to fix something that hasn't been openly discussed. This uncertainty breeds further frustration, as unspoken emotions continue to simmer beneath the surface. It is only when he acknowledges her feelings and makes a conscious effort to be more present that Aaradhya slowly lets go of her defensive sarcasm, shifting towards a more open and honest dialogue.

Breaking The Cycle : The Need For Direct Communication

Overcoming passive-aggressiveness requires self-awareness and a willingness to communicate openly. Aaradhya, conditioned to believing that expressing her emotions directly might lead to conflict or dismissal, gradually learns that honesty fosters understanding rather than confrontation. As Riteish begins to show up emotionally rather than just physically, she finds herself speaking more freely rather than relying on barbed remarks and avoidance. When she finally tells him, without any sarcastic pretense, that she had felt invisible, it marks a turning point-one that would have come much sooner had they both engaged in honest conversations from the start.

From Silence To Understanding

Passive-aggressiveness may seem like a safer alternative to direct confrontation, but it only serves to deepen misunderstandings and emotional distance. Aaradhya and Riteish's story shows that relationships thrive on open communication, not on unspoken frustrations disguised as wit or silence. By recognising passive-aggressive patterns and choosing vulnerability over indirect resentment, couples can cultivate stronger, healthier connections built on trust and clarity rather than unresolved tension.