What Is Sleep Divorce Trend? Can Sleeping Separately Benefit Couples And Fix Their Relationships Too?

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Moving in with a romantic partner can be exciting but not necessarily easy. There is an adjustment period which can test every ounce of the patience of both partners. While some couples enjoy sharing a bed with their partner, others dread this experience and probably it is the hardest part for them to get used to this. Why? Because not only partners may have to deal with snoring, lack of privacy, and different bedtime schedules, but also blanket-hogging. This can completely disrupt one's sleep quality.

Well, it is no surprise that people often struggle to get a good night's sleep, especially couples who had a long, tiring day at the office or an exhausting argument just before going to sleep. Getting angry before going to bed is not a healthy or encouraging practice, even then a lot of couples tend to practice this instead of dealing with the problems and finding solutions. As a result, their sleep cycle gets affected due to a lot of tension. So, what's the solution? Maybe sleeping separately or sleep divorce?

What Is Sleep Divorce?

A sleep divorce is when partners doze off or sleep in different bedrooms and yet live together in the same house for the sake of better sleep. It can be a long-term, short term or temporary setting depending on one's situation and relationship with their partner. This is a conscious decision that a couple makes to break sleep ties with their partner and it doesn't include accidentally falling asleep on a couch or your partner deciding to sleep elsewhere for a single night.

Many couples are in favour of this because it is said to decrease conflict, improve overall sleep quality and allow partners to have their own space, say relationship therapists. Opting for separate bedrooms can be viewed as a sign of a troubled and unhealthy relationship, however, the reality is just the opposite.

According to a survey by The Better Sleep Council, there are certain issues that couples experience which hinder their sleep in the bedroom. They include:

• snoring and other breathing issues, like sleep apnea,
• hogging pillows and blankets,
• sleeping diagonally or taking up too much space,
• tossing and turning due to restlessness,
• late-night TV watching or social media scrolling,
• different sleep schedules, and
• being a light sleeper.

Also, a lack of sexual desire or connection can also lead to sleep divorce. It is possible that one partner may crave sexual intimacy and the other may just want to doze off or proactively sleep and not entertain any request whether it is cuddling, kissing or sexual intimacy with their partner.

How Sleeping Separately Can Benefit Couples

1. Having Personal Space Or Privacy
Having 'me time' or one's own personal space to enjoy one's own company and decluttering mind can have a positive impact on not only self but also on their relationship and it can prove to be healthy for both the partners. Couples can utilize this time to cultivate their own interests, enjoy the things that they are fond of and pamper themselves. This will help them to keep their individual identity intact and have a sense of self while being in a relationship.

2. Undisrupted, Better Quality Of Sleep
This is not valid for all but for some sharing bed with their partner can mean compromising on quality sleep. It can be anything from snoring, blanket hogging, bedtime schedules, intimacy and your partner moving around next to you in the bed. All these can make falling asleep harder. Therefore, opting for separate beds will ensure that both partners get an adequate amount of sleep.

3. Having More Flexible Routines
Like a work routine and exercise routine, the bedtime routine is also important. So, sleeping in different beds will mean each partner can enjoy their own individual bedtime routine without having to comprise with their needs and choices. While one person can stay awake if they want to, the other one can enjoy a sound sleep without having to stay up for hours because of their partner.

4. Less Argument In The Relationship
Research has found that couples whose sleep habits do not match, have more conflicts in a relationship. A 2016 study has concluded that relationship issues and sleep problems tend to occur simultaneously, and another study found that couples tend to pick fights with each other the day after one person loses sleep because of the other. Therefore, sleeping in separate beds can help one to avoid certain conflicts or losing sleep.

5. Having More Intentional Time For Intimacy
Sleeping in separate beds doesn't mean that the couple lacks intimacy and actually, the results are quite positive since it allows partners to have more intentional time for intimacy with each other. Also, studies have pointed out that there is more excitement about the physical touch between couples. When it comes to practising intimacy, partners can indulge in sexting, video calls, and more.

However, practising sleep divorce can rub your partner the wrong way if your needs are not communicated properly and both are not on the same page while practising the bedtime routines. It is essential to reassure your partner that they are loved, and wanted and that sleeping separately doesn't mean intimacy will be absent from their relationship and it is all about getting rest and sound sleep.

You can share your sleep journal, logs or apps and show how it is helping you to improve the quality of your life. This will also ensure that both are connected and comfortable. Approaching your partner with sincerity, honesty and with care will allow them to process the change and adjust according to each others' needs.