What Is Forgiveness? Benefits Of Forgiving Yourself And Others

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'Forgiving yourself and others' - Well, It is easier said than done! However, what we fail to realise is that forgiveness is not about the other person, but about you, say psychologists. To move forward, grow and thrive in future, forgiveness plays a crucial role as one is finally able to see past their perceived failings.

Holding a grudge can affect a person's both mental and physical health in numerous ways and can make forgiving self and others almost impossible. Also, it can become a cause of stress and become an obstacle when it comes to rectifying errors. No matter how difficult forgiveness may look, one can always learn it no matter how grave the offence is. It is just like a muscle and with practice, it becomes better.

What Is Forgiveness?
Forgiving means an error has been committed and then not condemning self or the other person totally for having made it. This can also mean experiencing a sense of peace, even in relation to the person who has wronged you (or yourself, as an act of self-forgiveness).
It can be practised by keeping in mind the three factors- moral virtue, not being resentful and offering any kind of goodness to the person who hurt you.

Tips And Suggestions On How To Forgive Yourself And Others

1. Shifting Focus From Past Experiences
Not focusing on bitter experiences in the past and understanding why they happened can benefit you. Also, something good can also come out of something terrible. Not only it will help you to control the narrative but will also add meaning to your story of what happened and why.

2. Giving Yourself Time To Grieve
Forgiving is a long process and it will not happen overnight especially if you have been deeply wronged or dealing with a deep sense of injustice. However, before you can forgive someone, it is important to grieve and there is no rulebook or set amount of time that one should allocate for it.

3. Practising Gratitude
Gratitude is just the opposite of unforgiveness and it means rather than focusing on things you don't have, and try looking at things you have in your life and be thankful for them. Looking at things that have gone right in your life is a mindset. This will also change your perception to see the world around you.

4. Understanding How Holding A Grudge Will Affect You
If forgiving yourself or someone is becoming difficult, then ask yourself how holding a grudge is affecting your life. Also, being not at peace can lead to sleeping troubles, anxiety and even depression in some cases. If you are often dealing with negative emotions such as anger, and sadness, then think about how forgiveness may have benefited you.

5. Considering How Other Person May Have Been Wronged
Forgiveness and compassion go hand-in-hand and therefore, maybe looking at a situation through a different lens will help you to understand why a person acts in a certain way. When you feel a sense of injustice, maybe it is essential to not rule out the fact that they too may have been mistreated. Even though it doesn't justify their behaviour but can help you make sense of it.

6. Be Neutral While Assessing The Situation
No matter who has hurt you, understand that person is more than that situation. Seeing a person as a flawed human being rather than focusing on what they have done will make all the difference and create a neutral path for you to assess the situation. It is essential that you focus on things that can help you to develop compassion for the other individual.

7. Not Repeating The Same Mistakes
If it is you who did something wrong and that is making it hard for you to forgive yourself, then it is best to learn from the past events, make amends and not repeat them again. This will make it easier to forgive yourself and make peace with your past. This is a commitment that one has to make to themselves and practice daily.

8. Doing Something Good For Someone Who Wronged You
This can be difficult for people who have experienced personal trauma and depending on their comfort level one can practice this or leave this one out. However, in some cases, doing something nice for a person who has wronged you will reduce bitterness and anger. Compassion is the key to this one.