Thinking About Your Ex Again? 8 Rules To Follow Before Your Situationship Becomes A Soap Opera

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Let's set the scene: You're sitting on your couch in your favorite hoodie (probably theirs), eating leftover takeout, and texting your ex something that starts with "hey..." and ends with "wanna come over?" We've all been there-caught in the blurry, emotionally confusing vortex known as a situationship with your ex.

It's not dating. It's not a clean break. It's... limbo. One moment you're cuddling on the couch like nothing ever happened, the next you're questioning your life decisions while stalking their new followers on Instagram like an FBI agent with WiFi access.

Listen, we get it. The comfort is familiar, the chemistry is undeniable, and your playlist still includes "your song." But let's not ignore the flashing neon signs: getting into a situationship with your ex can be a recipe for romantic whiplash-and potentially a second helping of heartbreak.

If you're tiptoeing around your ex's emotional leftovers and calling it "just chillin'," here are some crucial mistakes to avoid so your heart doesn't end up in a blender (again).

1. Believing It's Different This Time Without Real Change

Ah yes, the classic: "They've changed." Have they? Or did they just send a well-timed "I miss you" text at 11:37 PM on a Thursday?

Reuniting with your ex without any actual resolution of past issues is like putting a band-aid on a volcano. If the same problems that broke you up-trust issues, communication problems, or chronic forgetfulness of your birthday-still exist, then you're not starting fresh. You're just pressing rewind on a bad season of a show that already got canceled.

Solution: Before entertaining any "this time it's different" fantasy, ask yourself: Have both of us actually grown or are we just lonely?

2. Ignoring Your Boundaries Because 'It's Just Casual'

Oh, the "it's chill, we're just hanging out" lie we tell ourselves as we secretly hope for reconciliation while acting like we're not catching feelings again.

Situationships thrive in vagueness. But if you're starting to let your boundaries slip-answering their texts at all hours, tolerating mixed signals, or skipping out on your own plans to be "available"-you're doing yourself a disservice.

Red flag alert: If you're saying yes to things that make you uncomfortable just to stay close to your ex, you're not chill-you're a simmering pot of emotions waiting to boil over.

Solution: Define your boundaries and stick to them. If it's casual, then be clear what that actually means. If your heart wants more, stop settling for less.

3. Sleeping Together and Calling It "Closure"

Let's get real. If you're using physical intimacy as a way to find "closure," you're more likely to find confusion-and possibly an impromptu sob-fest in your shower.

Sex with an ex is complicated. Sure, the comfort level is off the charts. But emotional entanglement doesn't magically go away when clothes do. If you're hoping a sleepover will bring clarity, it's more likely to bring emotional chaos and awkward morning-after vibes.

Solution: Don't confuse chemistry with compatibility. Closure doesn't happen between the sheets-it happens in honest, awkward, emotionally raw conversations (usually while resisting the urge to text them after said conversation).

4. Comparing Every New Person to Your Ex While Still Talking to Them

If you're out here swiping on dating apps while secretly still texting your ex goodnight... you're not dating, you're procrastinating.

Keeping your ex in your life while trying to meet someone new is like bringing old luggage on a new vacation-it's heavy, unnecessary, and eventually makes you trip at the airport. Not only are you being unfair to potential partners, you're also not giving yourself the emotional space to heal and move forward.

Solution: If you're truly ready for someone new, then you need to let go of what's familiar. You can't hold on and move on at the same time.

5. Expecting Commitment Without Asking for It

So, you've been hanging out. A lot. You're basically dating but without the label. You sleep over, know their coffee order, and might even own a toothbrush at their place. But still... they won't call you their partner.

Situationships with exes often feel like "relationship lite." You get the perks, but none of the security. And if you're hoping they'll eventually pop the "let's try again" question without actually asking what this is-you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

Solution: If you want clarity, ask for it. Don't be afraid to have the DTR (define the relationship) talk. It might feel scary, but not as scary as wasting another six months on someone who still calls you "my friend" in public.

6. Romanticizing the Past and Forgetting Why You Broke Up

Ah, nostalgia-aka emotional tequila. It makes everything seem more fun than it actually was. When you're lonely or missing them, it's easy to focus on the good times and conveniently forget the reasons that drove you two apart.

You might remember that spontaneous road trip but block out the fact that you cried in a gas station parking lot because they forgot your anniversary.

Solution: Whenever you feel tempted to go full rom-com on your past, make a list of the reasons you broke up. Keep it real. Post it on your fridge if necessary. Emotional clarity > emotional chaos.

7. Using the Situationship as a Way to Avoid Healing

Let's be honest: Sometimes, it feels easier to keep a connection alive than to grieve it fully. Getting over a breakup is hard. Getting over a breakup when you're still texting them "lol remember this meme?" is impossible.

Situationships with exes can serve as emotional painkillers. You stay numb just long enough to delay the inevitable heartbreak, but you're not healing-you're hovering.

Solution: Rip off the Band-Aid. Take the space. Feel all the gross, heavy, lonely feelings. It sucks, but it's necessary. Emotional growth happens in the discomfort.

8. Assuming You're the Exception

Listen, you might be a glowing beacon of charm, wit, and excellent taste in memes-but even you are not immune to the universal truths of human relationships. If your ex is showing you they're still emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, or just plain bad for your peace, no amount of cuteness is going to rewrite that.

You're not the exception. You're the example-unless you act like the CEO of your own life and walk away from what doesn't serve you.
Solution: Protect your peace like it's your favorite skincare serum. If they couldn't treat you right before, don't expect a miracle just because you're back in their orbit.

Well, by now you know that situationships with exes are like reheating french fries in the microwave. They might seem okay for a minute, but deep down, you know they'll never hit the same.

If you're walking back into your ex's world, do so with eyes wide open. Avoid these classic mistakes and be honest with yourself: Are you reconnecting out of love, or out of loneliness? Do they bring peace or just familiarity?

You deserve clarity, consistency, and connection-not emotional breadcrumbs from someone who already had a chance and blew it. So unless you're both coming back with real change, grown-up conversations, and shared therapy receipts, it might be time to stop calling it a situationship...

And start calling it what it really is: a trap.