Marital Separation Can Save Marriages

Marital separation is seen as the beginning of divorce by most of us. It is in fact also treated as the first legal step that is mandatory to start divorce proceedings. However, there are many couples who have been through marital separation and come back strongly to save their marriage. Divorce is a lengthy procedure with many steps. So just because you are staying separately for a while, it doesn't mean that your marriage is over.

In fact, if you handle marital separation wisely, you might actually end up fixing some of your marriage problems. To stop your marriage from breaking up, try this separation therapy.

Marital Separation

The 30 Days No Contact Period

When you are going for marital separation, it is obvious that your problems have escalated to such an extent that you just cannot see eye to eye any more. So it is best to avoid any kind of contact with your spouse for at least 30 days. This no-contact period does two things. Firstly it allows tempers to cool down. Secondly, it gives your spouse the message that you can live without him or her.

Use The Time

When you are not in contact with your spouse, don't spend the time brooding. Instead, try to use the time to heal yourself emotionally and gaining some mental strength.

The First Communication

The form of communication in a marital separation must always be in the form of a letter, email or text message. The written word holds a deeper meaning and is much safer when you want to stop your marriage from breaking up.

How To Start Again

When you communicate with your spouse, do not broach the subject of the marital separation at first. Ask about general things like his/her health and how their job is shaping up. Build a sort of polite familiarity again.

Drop The Question

After 2 months go by and you both are on talking terms again, it is safe to ask the question about the future of your marriage. Don't be ashamed to show your cards first. Tell your spouse that you intend to save the marriage and you are willing to put effort into rebuilding your relationship. You may not get a positive response immediately but you are rest assured that you have taken the right steps to avoid divorce.

After the marital separation, there are many ways forward to save your marriage. You can try counselling and couple therapy or just take a vacation together. If you have been through a marital separation, then please share your experience with us.

Story first published: Tuesday, April 16, 2013, 11:10 [IST]