Is Your Spouse A Control Freak?

Marriage And Beyond

oi-Anwesha

By Anwesha Barari

Tuesday, September 20, 2011, 17:00

Control freaks are basically people who love to be in charge of every situation. You could not even call them dominating because they are not trying to dominate you; it is a fear of losing control that drives them crazy. If your spouse is a control freak then you are in deep trouble. This streak of controlling in your spouse could lead to a lot of marriage problems. This is because dealing with control freaks is a herculean task that takes a toll on your emotional health

You need to understand certain very basic things about how to deal with a control freak.

Tips To Handle Controlling Spouse:

• The first thing you need to understand is that control freaks don't act out of possessiveness. It is a misconception, get rid of it. If your wife won't let you stay alone with your own child then she is probably not being possessive about the child. In a more sinister way, she hates to let the child and you into a situation where she would not be in control!

• Control freaks are not jealous individuals. A reaction provoked from jealousy will be totally different from the one a person obsessed with controlling will give. Your husband might be jealous of your male friends and prevent you from meeting them. But if he is a control freak then he will hate to let you have any kind of social interaction that is not under his control. He reaction will remain same with your parents or female friends.

• The best way to deal with the situation is to remain calm. You have to understand that your spouse doesn't suspect you of infidelity or doubt your capabilities. It is just that they are obsessive by nature. Treat their controlling nature the way you would treat a patient of mental trauma. That will bring out the tenderness in you.

• To argue with control freaks is useless. You may counter them with the best arguments in terms of logic; your brainstorming will be totally wasted because their mental set up makes them blind to logic. You may shout at the top of your voice; it will fall on deaf ears.

• You need to make yourself understand that they cannot help the way they feel or behave. It can be very annoying at times and you are fully justified in loosing your temper but it will be a total waste of energy.

• You have to ask yourself if you love your spouse enough to deal with this strain. If you do then try to explain to them constructively and get marriage counseling or other kind of psychological help. If not then you don't need to be told what you have to do.

Living with such a person can be a mental and physical strain. However these marriage tips will help you decide how to deal with your control freak spouse in a proper manner.