Challenges Of Inter- Faith Marriages

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My friend Zeba Tabbasum fell in love with a Navy officer Amit Rao. Now you may imagine the age old filmy drama of how the story would have begun and would have ended. But fortunately, this story had a twist. For they are happily married today above all norms with their 6 months old girl baby Kushi. With that short and happy ending story, I can see a ray of hope and curved smiles on all those 'madly-in-love' couples, in the same situation. But, what happens after the marriage? Can you relate to the in- laws family ideals? Can you ever get that unconditional love and respect of your parents back? Will your love relationship grow or take a low drive strand? Find the answers for those queries here.

The first rule of love:

The first rule of love is to fall in love only when you are matured enough to make the right decision of perfect partner. Well! Most young couples may think it as insane, but follow it to not to regret later. I have seen most of my friends grumbling, "I should have met you when I was 22 (who fell in love when she was 16), I would have not opted you as my life partner...." However if you think, 'I have made the right choice and I will overcome all the hurdles'. Then go get enthralled in the love web.

Convince parents:

Couple in inter religious marriages often avoid even talking above any such relationship to their parents. They hide due to fear, of closing the door of 'family love' or 'love of the partner'. However till date the love relationship that flourishes everyday is the one, which has got parents blessings and guidance. At first, parents will surely throw tantrums due to rage, or cry out in dark rooms. However, it is good that they know you want to marry a person who doesn't believe in your faith.

Introduce your partner to your family members. Patiently listen to all that they talk against you. If you can't meet in person then let your partner talk over the phone or write a convincing letter. One of my friend used to send a bouquet of flowers to his girlfriend's parents everyday with a note, "Sorry! But I promise to give her and you all the happiness in the world. Please don't make us part each other." After their approval, let the two families meet and talk about the arrangements of a blissful marriage ceremony.

However, if above all that trial they show you capital 'NO' board then, its time to head for the hills.

Time to bid them bye... only to return with more triumph

My cousin a Christian, had a register marriage with her Professor in the college who was a Hindu Brahmin. They went out for a hide out for a month, but when they returned together to their respective houses, to their awe, both the families had joined together for a grand marriage ceremony. This is just one example quoted of the many that are witnessed every other day. This shows that the parents are concerned about the lovers' emotions and feelings, but they are scared of the consequences after that.

Tackle in-laws

After a register marriage, don't expect your in- laws to be the guardian angels in your life. For there will surely be differences in faith, ideals and practices. If you could cross all the barriers till now, then its just a minor hump. Respect the elders beliefs follow them to show that you care. However if you cannot adjust, with all the effort, then it is better to stay away with frequent visits now and then. As it is better to be apart then hurt each other in every move that you take.

Do not force in your faith:

Never force your faith in your partner's life since, it is something that they have grown up with. Avoid humiliating with words or action any beliefs that they follow, as it will niche a hard impact forever. If your partner is an orthodox Christian, who attends every other mass in the church, then go and sit with her, try learning her prayers, this should be the same with other religions too. If you cannot attend any religious mass, then make a point to at least drop and pick your partner.

It isn't hard for inter religion marriage to survive, it just needs proper planning and loads of sacrifice.