Signs Of An Over-Possessive Girlfriend

By Tara Hari

Does your girlfriend camp outside your house with night-vision goggles? Have your friends forgotten your existence because she doesn't let you see them any more? Does she throw a tantrum every time you make eye contact with a stranger on the road? Have you been accused of cheating on her with every female of your acquaintance? If the answer to each question asked above is yes, then its high time you tell her that good relationships are based on trust. And she might bite your head right-off because of this statement.

Possessiveness is natural in any relationship, but some girlfriends take it too far. Check out these signs of an over-possessive girlfriend and see if your relationship borders are unhealthy.

Signs Of An Over-Possessive Girlfriend

Stalking

It starts out inconspicuously enough. Your girlfriend wants to spend all her time with you. You let her tag along, since it's the honeymoon phase and you cannot bear to be separated. But as time passes, her constant need to be around you does not abate. In fact, it increases! You get phone calls from her continuously at work. She wants to go everywhere you are going, even on a guy's night out. She stalks you online and demands to be told about everyone on your friend list. You know things have gotten out of hand when she starts following you around without your knowledge.

No Boundaries

She wants to know every single detail of your day. She goes through your personal belongings to find "incriminating evidence". She constantly demands to see your text messages and emails, and wants you to put the phone on speaker every time you get a call. She removes girls from your friend list and even sends threatening messages to girls who post on your wall or even like your pictures. It is a sign that your girlfriend is over-possessive when she hacks into your account, after you refuse to exchange passwords with her.

Dictatorial

She wants to pick out your clothes herself everyday. This might seem cute until she throws your favourite t-shirt away, saying it looked too worn. She forces you to buy the cologne she likes. She refuses to let you attend the concert you were looking forward to for months, and instead makes you watch a play with her. She has an opinion on every single detail of your life and wants you to do things her way. And God have mercy on your soul if you disagree with her.

Accusations

Life with an over-possessive girlfriend is fraught with accusations. She accuses you of spending too much time with your friends. She accuses you of cheating on her with your female colleagues. She even accuses you of talking on the phone too long with your mother. She needs constant reassurance that she is the most important person in your life. And pointing fingers at you is her way of getting it.

Fake Emergencies

She constantly tries to get your attention by faking emergencies. Whenever she feels like you are pulling away from her, she will fake an emergency to make you go back to her. Sometimes, she might even take the drastic step of actually harming herself, just to make you feel sorry about withdrawing from her and wanting your own space.

If your relationship suffocates you and you are acutely aware of your lack of freedom, then it is a sign that your girlfriend is over-possessive. Relationships are built on trust and there has to be freedom to be yourself. Nobody likes being controlled, so if you are over-possessive in your relationship, give the guy some space. Otherwise, get ready to be dumped.

Story first published: Monday, May 20, 2013, 19:20 [IST]
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