Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men: Problems

By Madhu Babu

When you are on a dating a emotionally unavailable guy who is great otherwise, it puts you in a tricky situation. Dilemma in deciding whether to continue or break up for good is tough to weigh. If the man you are dating is loving, caring and has an attitude to die for but is unavailable emotionally at times when you are looking for emotional support or going through a phase where you wish to share your burden a little, it would certainly get overwhelming.

Many relationships get to breaking point when the man becomes emotionally unavailable. It is better to avoid such scenario by making sure the woman gets enough attention, care, love and emotional support she deserves. Women generally like to know they are secured and are in safe hands. They need constant assurance and to feel secured, their monthly hormone changes only make it a challenging task for most men to understand their needs and expectations.

Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men

Not all men are intentionally unavailable. There may be some history or stigma attached to being elusive when needed. Women particularly expect their partners to be available during pregnancy, when they are most emotionally vulnerable. Erratic hormones make them behave emotionally. Most men find it demanding and unreasonable to be available emotionally and physically all the time to meet expectations of the woman. However it is important to understand that women are emotionally different.

Not enough
Sometimes it is difficult to know how much is enough. What might seem too much to a man might be too little to some women. As a man you might think you are giving the maximum you can, but your partner might be thinking otherwise and expecting a lot more. The fault might lie in miscommunication. A man might be content in having sex once a week and a dinner date once a fortnight, which might seem reasonable to a lot but fall short of satisfaction for many women.

History
It is not fair to blame the man for all the misgivings or shortfalls. He could be carrying a baggage that might be weighing him down. Hence, as a woman, you may have to open up and make him open to you with love. Once the matter is in open, he may feel lot lighter and start being available to you a lot more.

Fights
Fights between partners could be a cause as well as a consequence. If the man is emotionally unavailable for too long owing to whatever reason he may have, emotions gets the better of most women. This leads to lots of quarrels and outbursts that strains the relationship. Contrary to this, a man could become emotionally unavailable due to constant fights and quarrels between the partners due to incompatibility or otherwise. Such fights could make him spend less time with his women and make him emotionally unavailable to her.

Not enough love
Any relationship stands and runs on love. If there is no love and the relationship is based on selfish motives or infatuations, it is bound to explode eventually. A loveless man would always be elusive and emotionally unavailable when it matters the most. Again, being elusive and emotionally absent when needed wears the love from the woman towards her man and lead to breakups.

Infidel
Sometimes a man could be compelled to be in a relationship for all the wrong reasons making him live on the edge of the relation. He could fall for infidelity, resulting in him becoming unavailable. Similarly, infidelity from their partner could result in a man becoming emotionally unavailable to them. No relationship can sustain on infidelity.

Story first published: Monday, December 9, 2013, 18:17 [IST]
Read more about: relationship tips