How to Deal With Your Lover's Abusive Past

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Some say that we are born to love and that love is the meaning and the aim of our lives. Many people believe that it's a divine magical power that connects two loving hearts. Christians would say that God teaches us to love each other, the most skeptical materialists would blame it all on the chemical processes and hormones, romantic people would stand for the theory that each of us has his or her half on the Earth. Whatever love really is - the humanity definitely loves it.

Everything starts when a man and a woman get interested in each other, they fall in love, start seeing each other. Every new romantic date brings something new and exciting, they learn more and more about each other, but still see mostly positive side and don't pay much attention to the flows of each other. With every single meeting they fall more and more one into another, call every hour just to say how are you. Their souls are filled with the strongest and brightest emotions, their eyes see the world in the pink color. By that first time love gives them the wings to fly, the strength to do very crazy things and the will to conquer the world and to lay at the feet of their lover.

Lovers listen only to their hearts and intuition and yet don't letϿ' mind with it's logic and blurred ideals, parents, friends and etc get in the way. Yet this charming and color full love is often said as blind, blind enough to not consider the past life of your lover. Lovers always create a world of their own, neglecting the streaming realities of life outside their dreams. Love sees only the good and better part of life and the partner, or it deliberately neglects the unwanted and disliked aspects of both the life and the partner, which, one day, will be risen from the tombs of realities as a worse nightmare.

When two souls are bonded with love they think only of the present happiness and the jovial moments to follow. But once they hit the barricades of responsibilities their eyes are wide opened, they begin seeing life from a different outlook which projects life with all the harshness. It is when most of the lovers look behind their love to see and understand their own past and that of their lover. And it is, for most of the lover's, a threatening reality that their lover has an abusive past stretching behind him/her.

Remember, if you move to a breakup just because your lover has an abusive past, that the only way to repent on the past mistakes is to never commit them again. Psychologists say that behavior and character are the culmination of the circumstances one lives in. And it is not melted into his blood as an ever remaining factor. Whenever your thoughts are disturbed by the past life of your lover, remember that if at all your lover has an abusive past, that your lover's past might be the abusive just because the circumstances made him to be so even though he never wanted it to be so. Remember, It is only your presence and love that can bring transformation into your lovers life.

It is strange that unreasonable animals we can become when another beast makes his way back into our part of the jungle which is the our dark past. It is simply impossible not to have a past - it is just as issue of whether or not your past is actually in the past or on temporary consideration.

Here are a few logical viewpoints when dealing with your partner:

Don't get angry unnecessarily. First off, if the person is willing to discuss the past life with you, their current love interest, it cannot be all that bad. They are making an attempt to trust you. They would go see someone else if they felt they were experiencing something as serious as their heart being divided in two.

Ask questions. You're allowed to ask about your lover's past life, but do it for the sake of gathering information, not ammunition. By being level headed, you'll be able to see things for what they really are. This will help you make wiser and more truthful decisions. You are also being a good listener. Hey, it isn't all hearts and flowers - sometimes it can actually be difficult to be there for someone.

Forget the past life of your lover forever and always help your partner to not get back to his/her past life.

Never judge your partner based on his/her past life.

Be on the side of your partner always. Remember always that it is only true love that can bring transformation in your partners life. You're supposed to be the object of affection, not the-super-nice-shoulder-I-can-always-cry-on.

Everyone should mind that love arises not between angels but between people with all their little sins and flows. So the mistakes, problems and conflicts in love and in the past life are in fact normal, they all come from our human nature. But the clear feeling of love is worth all the troubles one has to walk through to gain it. As we know Rome wasn't built in a day, the same thing with love. There's not any perfect art of loving. It's always a road laid withϿ' compromises, everyday battle - not with the one you love, but with yourself. That's how love makes us better. For everyone this way is personal. You can never predict how the relationships will develop but it's in your ability to make it better.

Love has it's magical power to overcome all troubles, heal illnesses, create wonders. In critical life situations it gives people the strength to survive, to hold on however tough the living gets. And it all comes from the knowledge that you're not alone in this world.

No tree is going to fall if it has lost a leaf, there will come lot more new leaves with all the freshness of life. Leaving the past behind you like a fallen leaf, step into the wonderful life stretched before you and walk hand in hand with your lover majestically into your life.