Dating An Overthinker: Signs, How To Make Your Relationship Successful

Add as a preferred source on Google

According to a study conducted by the University of Michigan, 73 percent of 25-35 year-olds overthink compared to 52 percent of 45-55 year-olds and just 20 percent of 65-75 year-olds. Overthinking can contribute to severe anxiety and depression, especially in women and it can interfere with one's good problem-solving skills.

If dating looks hard, then dating an overthinker will be way harder. Overthinking involves thinking about a certain topic or situation excessively, analysing it for long periods of time without the intent of finding a solution or solving it. It is a repetitive, unproductive thought about a problem that may not even exist.

Why Is It Difficult To Date An Overthinker?
According to psychologists, overthinkers assume that they are never seen in a positive light and they always second-guess themselves and their ideas all the time. They often feel pressured to do things right and it affects them deeply what other people think about them. Due to this, they over-explain their situations as well. Due to this they often get exhausted.

A person who overthinks also deals with anxiety and it can create stress in romantic relationships. Even small things can create ripple effects in their mind and they are unable to control the mental chain of events. Therefore, it becomes a burden on their partner to learn how to comfort them and tackle these issues.

A person who overthinks has a certain behavioural pattern and therefore, dating them can mean coming across several challenges. Here's what you need to know.

They can be indecisive
Overthinking and not being able to come to a conclusion are the obvious things to expect while dating an overthinker. They themselves get tangled in their chain of thoughts and even when the decision is made they do not feel sure about it.

They can jump to different conclusions pretty fast
If you are with an anxious partner then you already know that before a crisis, difficult situation or change arises, they will build up all possible scenarios and prepare themselves in every possible way to tackle it. However, none of the conclusions are positive and are just a reflection of their worries.

They can have an all-or-nothing attitude
In extreme situations, they jump to the worst. If you have a fight with them they will assume that you are breaking up with them and do not love them anymore. They can also blame themselves for everything that is not even their fault.

They can be perfectionists and have unrealistic expectations
They want everything to be perfect in their lives and therefore, they end up having unrealistic expectations from not only themselves but also from their partner. They are never sure while making decisions and can also change them multiple times.

They can get stuck in their past or get worried about their future
Overthinkers not only get stuck in their past but feel stressed, embarrassed and guilty while thinking about a past traumatic event. Also, when it comes to talking about their future, they will jump to conclusions and make decisions about relationships, finances, goals, etc accordingly.

They can be engaged in their mind spirals and it can be tiring for their partners
While dating an overthinker, a person tries to do everything possible to help and take care of the mind spirals of their partner who overthinks. However, over a period of time, if it is one person who is continuously managing this aspect of their personality then it can be tiring and exhausting for them.

How To Make Dating An Overthinker Successful


Here is how you can successfully date an overthinker in a relationship.

1. Refrain from saying anything that you do not mean
Choose your words carefully because overthinkers will try to find meaning in everything you say, even if it is a joke and will jump to conclusions. So, it is essential that if you don't mean something, do not spurt it out of your mouth. If you do just make it clear that you were joking so that you can stop the series of thoughts that will start weaving in their mind.

2. Gestures Will Be More Powerful Than Words Of Assurance
You do not have to say the words of assurance constantly to make them feel secure. Your action will speak louder than words and will make them believe how much you care for them. Overthinkers may draw a parallel between past and present situations, analyze them and may blame you for how you have made them feel before. Therefore, if you want to make them feel special, be genuine about your feelings and gestures.

3. Build Healthy Communication
Overthinkers are fond of tiny details about everything. However, this doesn't mean you have to share every tiny detail with them while being in a relationship. Understand or ask if something is bothering them and get to the root to solve it. This will keep misunderstandings at bay and help a couple to bond better.

4. Reassuring Them Often
If you are dating an overthinker then you have to let them know from time to time how you feel about them so that they do not feel insecure or unsure about their relationship. You have to let them know how much you miss them or love them like crazy so that they do not doubt being in a relationship with you.

5. Never Ask Them To Stop Overthinking
They will never stop overthinking and even saying it will not bring clarity in their life. Even if as a partner you tell them to get rid of their inhibitions or you dodge a conversation thinking that they will not think too much, it will not make any positive difference in their life. Also, if you keep saying to them that they are an overthinker, then they may get offended as well.

Being an overthinker doesn't mean a person is toxic or crazy. It will only mean that they think too much in all situations. With little effort, this tiny flaw can be dealt with easily and you can also be in a happy and healthy relationship.