How To Drama Proof In Your Relationship, Crucial Steps To Keep In Mind To Heal It

Tuesday, January 31, 2023, 20:30

All relationships thrive on three things mainly commitment, compromise, and cooperation, but problems do exist and for some, it can be really devastating. While there can some days your partner may appear to be your archenemy and there will be a full outburst of emotions, on other days, you may find yourself like conjoint twins texting each other for the whole day and sharing hugs and kisses and becoming best buds in the whole world.

So, it is safe to assume no relationship is completely drama free and at times chaos can become the new normal for you.

So, what is drama? It simply means a made-up conflict or a debate where there is no real conversation and people are fighting just for the sake of fighting.

Drama creates its own territory in certain relationships which can lead to mudslinging, bickering, and disrespecting each other in general. Due to unnecessary chaos, one can invite certain negativities into your life which are very hard to get rid of easily. Not only you may find it difficult to make decisions, but you can also become a people pleaser by compromising on your own needs, end up sharing too much information or details with people you do not know properly, or may suffer from an identity crisis and become a victim of circumstances constantly.

When one tries too hard to stay in a relationship that is full of drama, they end up walking on eggshells. There are certain feelings that a lot of people in unhealthy relationships can identify with. It can be not being yourself in front of your partner due to fear of getting judged, choosing the words carefully, always compromising to ensure the relationship is stable or overcompensating with a fake smile or nice behaviour just to be with your partner.

Therefore, it is essential to draw boundaries for yourself and in relationships especially when you are spending a lot of time with your partner. Some may have even set them but with time may have become quite challenging to follow and all you see is everything around you falling apart bit by bit.

What's worse? You may have even imposed on yourself a doormat policy that you are not even aware of. Emotional blockages and outbursts with your partner have become a regular thing and you can see your relationship heading towards a wreckage. So, maybe it is high time to look around and hear from emotionally integellent people and create a strategy that will eliminate drama from your relationship forever.

Here's how to avoid drama in your relationship and make it healthy.

1. Be Aware Of Your Situation

Assessing the situation and finding the deep-rooted problems behind the drama in your relationship can be life-changing for everyone. Not only do you need to process your thoughts and events, but you need to dig deep and go beyond the thoughts that cause certain reactions. Make a note of unresolved issues in your life and then tackle them one at a time. Question and then think before you react and understand the bigger picture that creates unnecessary chaos. Segregate the issues instead of seeing all of them together like a pile of unsolved problems. Also, ensure while solving issues, you do not avoid accountability and work on improving your behaviours if need be.

2. Surround Yourself With Emotionally Intelligent People

Having quality people around you, especially emotionally intelligent ones will help you to work on yourself, your partner and your relationship as a whole. Where there is a higher quality of people around you, it provides a chance to learn from their experiences and align things in your life. Knowing how to respond to circumstances can cut out the unnecessary drama from your life. Changing the way how you interact with yourself and the world is extremely vital. This will give you a chance to understand yourself and subside the drama for sure.

3. Do Not Become A People Pleaser
It may initially not be seen on the surface, but the problem can be seen underlying in deep layers of a relationship. It is essential to make it clear to yourself that you are only responsible for your actions and others are responsible for theirs. This means you are not responsible for others' actions and therefore, feeling guilty and blaming yourself for everything happening around you is counterproductive to your growth and can be very extremely harmful to your overall well-being. Have a positive approach instead and remove the shroud of guilt or sadness to bring light into your life. Both partners need to go beyond blame-shifting behaviours, sweeping the issues under the carpet and looking for solutions instead if they are planning to move forward together and be in one team.

4. Never Bring Past In The Present

Having preconceived notions about certain things can turn your relationship sour. It is important for both partners to break free from the shackles of the past by terminating the toxic or negative pattern when it comes to handling circumstances or each other. When it comes to making a decision in the present, deal with facts and not assumptions of people around you. If you have certain goals in your mind, share them with your partner and get your interests aligned while taking them forward. Playing the past on repeat won't help you, especially if you are looking for solutions. You cannot change what happened in the past, but by taking care of the present, you can surely change your future.

5. Unlearn Old Patterns And Set Boundaries

You may have witnessed your caregivers who have stayed in toxic relationships and had never done anything to change it, then there is a high chance, the ripple effect has infiltrated your life as well without you even realising it. Due to this unnecessary drama becomes part of your early life and when you engage in relationships as an adult. It is healthy to set boundaries in a relationship because it helps you to be with a person of your choice without compromising on your self-identity. Unlearn old patterns and communicate with your partner whenever you need to make clear your boundaries and expectations. From socializing to sharing intimacy, everything needs to be considered if you want to cut the drama out and maintain peace in your relationship.

6. See Beyond Your Ego

Your ego is that part of your identity in your conscious mind that you consider your 'self'. Therefore, if you plan to solve the drama in your relationship, it is best to keep the ego aside. Becoming toxic around people or showing them that you are superior to them cannot give your solutions, and will complicate your problems further. If you are planning to build a life that is above the drama, then keep yourself grounded and practice kindness. The ego can block empathy instantly and can create an imbalance of power in relationships. Try to become a more authentic version of yourself. If you are in a relationship, then compassion is the key to healing it.

7. Learn To Say No

Every person is different and so are their choices and this has nothing to do with being right or wrong. Pretending to be happy and doing things that you do not like can build up frustration eventually and can even break the relationship. If hearing no from you makes your partner feel bad, then there are some boundary issues that you need to take care of. On the contrary, saying no at times can make you feel empowered as it gives you the space to voice your opinions and not blindly accept every decision made by your partner. This also gives them clarity when it comes to expecting something from you.

8. Identify The Manipulators, Protect Yourself

Manipulators are those who seize control by playing mind games, expressing displeasure with anything that the other person thinks, says or does. It especially happens whenever the other person tries to set boundaries. If you are on the receiving end of the manipulation tactics, there is a high chance that it will take a toll on your mental health. Instead of bowing your head, stand up and fight for yourself and you can do this simply by not compromising on your self-worth and staying away from these people who are into emotional manipulation. Instead of doubting yourself, learn the signs of a manipulator and it will become easy to act in a particular situation.

9. Make Sure There Is Empathy

Building empathy is one of the best ways to keep a relationship stable. Not only do you need to be empathetic to others, but you need it for yourself as well. This will help one to build self-identity and understand each other better. Not only it will create a space of trust and respect, but through this love will also eventually flow. By practising this, you can not only get rid of judgemental behaviour and negative reactions, but it will also for sure ensure that your life becomes chaos free. Also, when the relationship starts to heal, it makes it easier for each other to forge better and deeper connections.

10. Get Help From Professionals Or Reach Out To Support Groups

If nothing you are doing is solving your problems or minimising the drama in your relationship and even talking to a friend is ending up in vain, then you and your partner need to get help from professionals. Going outside of your social circle and approaching a professional or engaging with a support group will give your numerous perspectives towards the healing journey. It can be venting out emotions and resentment that were bottled up over the years and feeling relieved without being judged. Also, going for counselling sessions can help one to come across the underlying issues that can only be seen when the investigation is done on a deeper level. Outside support is crucial because it means one doesn't have to fight their battles alone.