A First Person Account Of Pre-Marriage Blues -Part I

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As a bachelor, I might not seem like the right person to throw light on the perils of marriage, but I certainly am aware of the dread that takes over just before one is about to tie the knot. How do I know, you may ask? Well, I almost slipped the noose around my neck a couple of times. Real close calls, and while nothing came of them, I still remember the apprehension I felt at the idea of actually getting married.

And, of course, friends who are about to tie the knot give vent to their feelings of doom and I've heard a lot of it. So here goes...

One idea that suddenly crops up in a guy's head at the last minute is: Why to get married? Why not just continue as a bachelor, with a girlfriend in tow? This fear seems to strike many grooms at the eleventh hour. I've had friends call me up on the day of their wedding and saying they're suddenly feeling scared. There's nothing funny about it, mind you. Marriage is a commitment and only at the last minute do guys realise what they're in for. I suppose it's the same thing that goes on in the mind of a condemned man. As long as the day is some time away, he's fine, but when the final walk to the gallows beings, he realises what's in store.

Most guys I've spoken to were worried about the financial aspect of marriage. With consumerism being the order of the day, guys worry whether they'll earn enough to give their wife all she desires, in the material sense. They suddenly realise that their fancy pay-packet really comes to nothing, that they have no savings worth the name. Also, it usually means an end to all kinds of frivolous spending. The good part is most of them turn into fairly responsible blokes a fortnight before the marriage.

The past haunts some souls. If you've had a colourful past, I dare say, you wouldn't want the missus to know too much about it, especially if there's any unfinished business you've not attend to, and which you think will put a spanner in the works. Similarly, some of them worry about their wives' past life, especially if it's an arranged marriage.

I've had friends - who were about to marry attractive women - wondering aloud how many boyfriends the girl has had. In some cases, where the girl has admitted to having an affair, the man worries whether she in fact has not had a string of affairs. Suspicion is a nasty thing, but it's more common than you think. And of course, don't we all know, every man wants a woman nobody has 'touched'.

In case of intercaste marriages, where they're venturing into unknown territory in more ways than one, I've had friends calling me up to seek solace and advice, hoping for the best. At that time most of them suddenly seem to be struck with the idea that it's best to marry someone from one's own caste. They speak of the difficulties and adjustment they've had to make already and the ones that are bound to follow. The least one can do at such times is to offer a sympathetic ear and tell the poor sod that things will work out.