More of Mamma Please

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Mamma's boy! The term that is found cute while the boy is a toddler or perhaps a few years older but disgusting when attached to an adolescent or an adult male. While being a papa's girl is anytime in trend to the girls. Why the difference? Who's a mamma's boy?

Even before each of us is born, a behavioral role-profile is established for us by society and our family. It prescribes by our gender how we are to behave for our entire life. It is on this role profile that our capacity for intimacy is built.

The cultural base for a male is a base that rewards aggressive behavior, strength and endurance, the absence of tears, being in control, fighting and winning. The cultural base for the female rewards compliance and supportiveness recognizes heightened emotionalism, and projects family nurturing and much communication.

When male and female relate to each other, the male is the leader, the female the follower; the male works hard and pays the family bills; The man is attached to drive, success, and status; the woman is allied with beauty, peace, and popularity. As the child begins to develop, the balance among these traits responds gradually to the individuation process, as we shall see: one boy will grow to be less aggressive than another boy-man; one girl will grow to be less sexually interested and responsive than another woman.

It's a myth that being loved and cared warmly for causes the so-called mamma's boy syndrome.

The large spectrum of individualized changes in the balance notwithstanding, the man is still expected to be in charge and be basically invulnerable; the woman is expected to be attentive and basically dependent, subservient. When a man does not stick with the ruthless image of men or follow the stereotyped ideals he is tagged as the mamma's boy.

The tagged mammon - or 'Mama's Boy' - is highly demeaning to not the men alone but also to the mother. The mothers are often blamed of this obsessive love for their boys, and can't manage to cut the cord. Intrusive mothers-in-law wreak havoc on marriages worldwide, because there's a kind of contest to see who can baby him more, and the wife feels like she's in second place.

Words like " mama's boy", "wimp", "sissy", and others to say that these words ridicule boys. What forgot to be mentioned was the fact that these words are indirectly insulting the woman, not the man. There is no bond that is stronger or more stereotyped than that of a 'mama's boy.' As a family grows together, there exists an exceptionally strong relationship between the mother and the son.

From the very first moments of life, parents are constantly looking for their own traits within their children. When you're dependent on someone, you stick around. This happens with the boys who are more needy of the mother. So many problems can enter into this process. These problems undermine self-worth, establish vulnerabilities, and set up fears of personal exposure-all of which work against intimacy, comfortable sexuality, and productive relationships.

The cultural base for a male is a base that rewards aggressive behavior, strength and endurance.

When a boy does not fall within the stereotype expectations for a boy, the softer nature of this boy could easily clash with the father's more powerfully anchored persona. The father could easily lose interest, and this child then easily withdraws. The child's sensitivity becomes misinterpreted. This is when the mother comes to the rescue. Naturally the boy gets more emotionally attached to his mother and will become a so-called mamma's boy.

It's a myth that being loved and cared warmly for causes the so-called mamma's boy syndrome. It's better to be loved at an older age than abandoned at an early age. The problems come more from a lack of affection than an excess of it. You don't find people who are psychologically unbalanced because they got too much love or protection at home.

And for the men, who are tagged mamma's boys, whets your problem? Who are you ashamed of, the woman who has always been there for you or rather you, for always being there for her? Now, what's wrong with that? If you love your Mom, You love her! That's all, Simple isn't that?