How To Tell Your Child That You Are Separating?

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Parents' separation always throw the children into trauma. Tender minds are so fragile that they may fall into unmaintainable depressions by the separation of their parents. Children of all ages feel let down when, their parents separate. The most inevitable thing in childhood is the presence of parents; both father and mother. If separation is unavoidable, let your child know it and make them prepared for it. Most of the separating parents feel it difficult to decide when and how to tell their children that they are separating. When and what you tell the children have a major impact upon how they feel about their parents' separation.

It is highly recommendable to inform your children in advance that you are separating. This may provide them sufficient time to cop up with the situation. If not possible to explain and convince the reasons for disagreements between you and your partner, let your children know that separation is the only way to avoid conflicts between parents. While talking to children, it is important to be explicit about what is happening, and to explain to some extent why you and your partner are separating.

Separation of parents can affect a child so severely. Therefore when you talk to your child about separation, be careful to not hurt their feelings. They should never feel that they are the reason behind parents' separation. A sudden change like moving house or school can often not be avoided. In these circumstances it is very important to allow extra time for yourself and the children to be together. Involve them in your plans as much as you can and point out the positive aspect of change. If not informed in the proper way, there is always chance for children to draw wrong conclusions. It is important to explain the situation to the children and not leave them alone with their anxiety and imagination.

If you decide to separate, the children should be told without delay. Make it clear to them that they are not to blame for what is happening, and that you both still love them. It is depending on the age of your children that you should decide how to present the crucial matter your children. As children may feel it heartbreaking to loose any of their parents, assure them that both dad and mum will be there to care and love them even though not living under the same roof. To older children, who understand more of parents' problems, tell that you have decided to live separately because you believe that separation is beneficial for everyone.

When you separate or having a difficult time at home, tell your children clearly what is happening at home. This may help the child to come to a conclusion that separation is better than the fights and quarrels at home. When you take decisions of separation always listen to your children. This makes them feel involved, important, and they will feel much better for it. In this way they may feel that the parents' action is justifiable.

Don"t make promises that you know you can"t keep, or make your child feel bad about showing affection and concern for their other parent. Never speak ill about the other parent or ask them to support you than your partner. It is really important for your children to have a relationship with both of you.

When you talk with your child about the separation, prepare yourself for the talk. Think about what you want to say and how. If possible you and the other parent should be there to tell your children. Otherwise try to make sure that you and the other parent agree on what is being said. Never go to the extend of judging and accusing the other parent rather explain them them what is happening and try to convince them of your decision. Always allow your children to ask questions to you and clear all the possible doubts. Reassure your children that they are loved and that the separation is not their fault.

You can ask your child how they feel about the separation of parents. Children may react in a wide range and be prepared to calm down and cop up with the situation. Involve your child in conversations, the changes that will take place, where each parent will live, and when your child will see each of you. With an older child, you can even try to get him/her involved in the planning. Children may not understand the word 'Divorce', thus tell them in simple words what separation means and always cling to the truths about the whole incident as they may feel cheated if you hide anything from them.

Knowing that their parents are separating children may often become too sad or depressed. They may feel abandoned or unloved. It is important to help them to keep the mental stability. Let them know that no matter what happens, they still have two loving parents, although they may not be living together.