Parenthood

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I am relatively speaking a not so very new entrant into parenthood. My five and half year old has now been around for well five and half years and has given me a completely different perspective of life. We may have massive professional commitments but our lives have to be planned around children's school holidays. First day after vacations, are compulsory attendance days. You miss the cut you miss a vacation.

You can afford to miss an important meeting but your kid cannot miss the bus to school because then you lose the entire day.

Your in the middle of a meeting in the afternoon - you get a call that your kid is left in the bus stop and there is no body to pick him up - so the bus takes him back to school and some body has to go to his school and pick him up. Better be in time - or you lose the entire afternoon.

But on the day after I have egg in the face for having missed commitments, I think back with joy at the time I spent with the my kid. I think of the joy I brought to the kid because he found his father at home with him when he was awake.

My five and half year old has competitions on Sundays and I have to wait in some run down old building for him. But I remember the event for the two moments of joy it brought to me and I don't mind doing it all over again - though it makes a for a bad next week because I have not caught up on the sleep I have lost the previous week.

I am amazed at the extent of excitement that competitions brings to parents - seems the single most important day in the year. The child winning a prize brings more joy to them then getting a promotion, buying a house or getting a grand new job. I stand looking around me feeling very foolish because my son does not care whether he has won or not - and I don't care whether he has won or not. The spirit of competition has brought real excitement to him and that is good enough for me. I later hear from the teachers that my kid was a brat at the competition. He could have done far better but didn't seem to care.

I take my kid to some random event at the club over the week-end where they are organizing some events for the kids. My kid seems happier than the kids who have won the competition.

I can't say what my parents went through because they never talk about these things. But I don't ever remember my parents getting over excited about some minor random competition. They felt happy of course that I had participated and that I had won but didn't go overboard.

Looking around, I feel that many children feel pressurized by their children. It seems sub-consciously they are trying to become what their parents want them to be. The parents come away feeling that they are brining up their child well because the child is shaping up well in school, has the confidence to stand on the stage and speak well, is doing well in competitions. The question is - is that what the child wants? Is that what really brings joy to the child? Are these subconscious actions killing the child's individuality. I would think so - But like I said before I am just a not so new entrant - the old hands will know a lot better.

What is the difference between our parents and us? Seems to be the number of children in the family. Kids in larger families with lots of brothers and sisters and in joint families with lots of cousins seem to grow up in a more natural way - enjoying their childhood - But the modern day flats seem to have brought some balance - It's a great joy to see so many children blissfully unaware of the pressures of life running around and having a good time.

The above are questions that all of us face and address in our own little ways and come to our own conclusions. Whatever may be the conclusion, there is one thing in common - the Joys of Parenthood.