Do Men Bottle Up Their Emotions?

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Emotions are the integral part of human existence. When sadness fill the minds, we cry. When feel jovial, we laugh. Angry, passion, romance, fear... the list is far stretching. Every occurrence in life is linked with one or other emotion. But when it comes gender differences, there usually arise a question; do men hide their emotions and do women exhibit emotions than men do? Answer is yes... Men by default have learned the art of suppressing emotions, for various reasons. Men and women typically handle emotions in quite different ways. When upset, women are likely to express their feelings directly, and to seek the support of friends and family, whereas men might typically hide their emotions or withdraw.

"Brave men never cry." Mothers tell this to every male child; and every man is supposed to be brave and therefore outburst of emotions of course are denied to him. Men are usually depicted as fearless, resourceful, stoic and usually facing adversity alone. Men think of themselves as the gender of superheroes, the gender that cannot fail, the gender that changes the world, the gender that makes things happen, the gender that protects and serves. These notions are embodied in the cultural stereotypes of the heroic male, so often represented in film and television. More than films and stories children copy from the family roles where they witness an emotionally distant father and slave to emotions mother. Thus the life style of parents becomes the unconscious template on which kids build their behaviour.

There are for emotions inbuilt in any human being, sadness, anger, happiness and fear, often referred as 'sad, mad, glad and bad.' Of these four emotions, only anger, and to a lesser extent, happiness, are considered truly 'manly' in the conventional model of masculinity. Yet fear and sadness are universal to the human species, not just women! These emotions serve a valuable purpose and are normal responses to threat and loss. Expressing emotions is considered as the characteristic of week people. This is the reason men often bottle up their sadness or anxiety. If we state that men hide all the emotions it would be an unjust. Happiness and anger are expressed in a large quantity by them. It is a proved fact that most men channelise sadness or anxiety into anger. This can cause some men who are suffering emotionally to become powder kegs of potentially violent rage.

Because they have been taught to suppress their feelings, many men simply do not have the words to describe their own feeling states. This can lead to great frustration in relationship when they cannot express their needs, fears and griefs. Men often feel overwhelmed by their female partners when it comes to discussing emotional issues, because they cannot articulate their feelings or stand up for them. This can leave them feeling confused, angry and powerless.

Most theorists agree that biological differences between men and women cannot explain differences in emotional expression. The basic cause behind the less emotional exhibition in men is the child hood learning and cultural backgrounds. It has been pointed out that men and women live in different worlds when it comes to emotional expression. From early childhood most boys are exposed to fewer emotion-oriented conversations and are not encouraged to express emotions verbally. The point is that men appear to experience exactly the same emotions as women but their expression is often and typically very different. Emotions are to be expressed to drain out the bulging stress within us. Suppressing the emotions or channelizing them may only help but adversely. The restriction of emotional expression can lead to many problems including:

* Health issues, due to carrying chronic tension in the body.
* Relationship difficulties due to an inability to resolve emotional conflicts and/or a perceived lack of ability to be intimate.
* Psychological problems such as depression, insomnia and anxiety.
* Behavioural issues such as violence when bottled up emotions are channeled into violence.