Microwaveable Happiness

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Instant coffee, instant anger, this age is living on the "instant" buzzword. Instant gratification is not the only recipe for happiness. You are searching for modern happiness and you feel the old fashioned variety takes too long. You are looking for upgraded happiness. You want the new, improved version of a 3.06 release.

This is the 21st century and you demand instant gratification. You are hungry, you go to a super market, pick up one of those frozen-in-time self-kill meals. And how do you heat it? If you light a fire, you will have to buy a life insurance policy at a fire-hazardous premium. And you don't own a microwave as yet. And what's more, it's passe to light a fire, no one does that anymore. Except for those twittering ladies at a kitty party who add fuel to fire by their gossip rechargeables. People don't even light ovens anymore.

It takes too long to heat up a meal and too much patience. You are fuming-"I am hungry now, not 40 minutes from now". That's why God gave us microwave ovens. Just pop in your meal-whrrr-beep- out it comes, nicely warmed for immediate consumption. That's the way you want your happiness- toasty, warm and right now, this instant.

Consider the Internet- you type out happiness.com-you hit enter. Google responds-the search took 1.02 seconds. Seems rather slow you think-Google is ready for the old age home. You check, you wait. Did you know that Bernard Shaw waited for almost 25 seconds for a website to appear so he could find a phrase that rhymed with "Man and Superman"? The website appeared in 2002, he had given up waiting by then. You don't want to walk to and wait for happiness. You want it delivered now. The Pizza Hut delivery- man is never late, it's 20 minutes or the pizza comes free. Happiness should come for free.

Remember the days you had only two channels on TV and 'door'darshan was the only 'door' to entertainment. It was a mammoth task to lift yourself out of the couch to change the channel especially if you knew Chitrahaar was coming on the other channel? But you didn't get up and continued tolerating Krishi Darshan. In the two- channel universe there was always something on. Now we flip through 100 channels, which keeps us busy while we are looking for something worthwhile to appear on our favourite channel. Imagine the fitness levels you would reach if you were to get up 15-20 times per minute to change 100 channels.

Happiness should be like television, if you don't get instant gratification, you could change channels-zip-zap-zoom.

;Your teacher hauls you up for bad marks-zap.
Your mother glares as you pick your sixth pizza slice-zap.
Your father grounds you for partying out late-zap.
Your friend steals your girl friend-zap.
Your boss threatens to report you to the CEO for delaying a project report-zap.
;

Come on, think how happy you would be- all those annoying two-wheelers that steal your parking space outside your favourite cyber cafe, the unending movie ticket line, the always 'network busy' signal on your mobile-zap-zap-zap. Sigh happiness is not like the microwave oven, not like the Internet, not even like the remote control. Happiness does not run on instant gratification system. Happiness takes patience. Oh God, please give me the patience I lack- and I want it now-this instant.