Tips To Control Anger 2

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Better Communication

Angry people tend to act and jump to conclusions too fast, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion, slow down and think through your responses. Listen to what is underlying the anger. For instance, you like a certain amount of freedom and personal space, and your "significant other" wants more connection and closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don't retaliate by painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.

It's natural to get defensive when you're criticised, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.

Using Humor

"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirt bag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humour can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.

When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who own the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable. You'll also realise how unimportant the things you're angry about really are. There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humour; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression.

What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.

Changing Your Environment

Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.

Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful.

Some Other Tips for Easing Up

Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night, perhaps you're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just a habit. Try changing the times when you talk about important matters so that these talks don't turn into arguments.

Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don't say, "Well, if my child cleans up the room, I won't have to be angry!" That's not the point. The point is to keep your calm.

Finding alternatives: If you commute daily through traffic leaves, you are in a state of rage and frustration. Give yourself a project-learn or map out a different route, one that's less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.

If you feel that your anger is really out of control, and if it is affecting your relationship and other important aspects of your life, you might consider counselling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.

Thus it can be concluded that anger can be controlled if you take a step forward. Anger is the root cause for all the destructions big and small. People do all things that can prove adverse to them as a result of this sudden anger that has been cropping in them.