World Menopause Day 2025: Influencer Shares ‘What Not To Say To Someone Going Through Perimenopause'

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Every year on 18th October, World Menopause Day is observed to create awareness about a stage that half the population will experience but few talk about comfortably. The theme in 2025 is 'Lifestyle Medicine In Menopause Care' laying emphasis on healthy eating, physical activity and mental well-being for women's health before, during and after menopause. And despite the day's universality, menopause remains surrounded by awkwardness, silence, and unsolicited advice especially when it comes to the years leading up to it.

Photo Credit: Instagram@theholdernessfamily/AI-generated

Menopause vs Perimenopause: What's The Difference?

Menopause marks the end of menstrual cycles, diagnosed after twelve consecutive months without a period. Perimenopause, on the other hand, is the unpredictable transition leading up to that point when hormone levels start fluctuating, periods become irregular, and symptoms like hot flashes, brain fog, anxiety, and fatigue begin to appear.

It can last anywhere from a few months to several years. And while every woman's experience is unique, one thing most agree on is how frustrating it feels when people try to offer simple, one-size-fits-all "solutions."

When Humour Says What Women Feel

The Holderness Family, a US-based social-media influencer family, once posted an Instagram reel that perfectly captured the frustrations of perimenopause. Known for their humorous takes on real-life situations, they turned the everyday frustrations of perimenopause into something many women could laugh at because it was all too real.

The reel, titled "What Not to Say to Someone Going Through Perimenopause," listed a series of seemingly well-meaning but completely unhelpful remarks. The comment section filled up fast with women saying things like, "The accuracy!" and "OMG, this list is on point!"

These are some of the lines Kim Holderness hilariously brought up, things that women going through perimenopause hear far too often, usually from people who mean well but miss the point entirely.

"Have You Tried Eating More Protein?"

A classic that shows up in every health conversation. The assumption? That a dietary tweak will somehow smooth over hormonal chaos. Yes, nutrition matters but perimenopause isn't a willpower problem or a protein deficiency. Suggesting it can be "fixed" with better food choices only trivialises the experience.

"Have You Tried Herbal Tea To Sleep?"

This one sounds harmless, even caring but it's the kind of suggestion that misses the point entirely. Perimenopausal insomnia is caused by hormone fluctuations, night sweats, and other physiological changes that tea simply cannot fix. Offering herbal tea as a "solution" can feel dismissive, like handing someone an umbrella in the middle of a hurricane.

"I Took Some Vitamins And My Symptoms Were Gone"

This one carries an innocent smugness. It implies that if someone else could solve it with supplements, maybe you're just not trying hard enough. In reality, perimenopause affects everyone differently, and comparing experiences only adds pressure to "get better" instead of understanding what's happening.

"Do You Remember...?"

This one stings more than it seems. Memory lapses and brain fog are common during perimenopause, but being called out for them feels like a spotlight on something already embarrassing. A little patience goes a long way here.

"Never Ever Say, 'You Seem Angry.'"

Because nothing intensifies frustration faster than being told you're frustrated. Emotional shifts during perimenopause are hormonal, not personal. Telling someone they "seem angry" turns a physiological response into a personality critique and that's a sure way to make things worse.

Why It Resonated So Deeply

The Holderness Family didn't make the reel to mock, they made it to mirror reality. By giving sarcastic replies to the unhelpful comments women hear, they opened a conversation that's often avoided. The humour worked because it came from empathy, not irony.

And as the comments show, women are tired not just from night sweats or brain fog but from being told to "fix" something that isn't broken.

Talking, Not Telling

As World Menopause Day 2025 reminds us, awareness isn't only about medical facts, it's about listening without judgement. The next time someone opens up about hot flashes or mood swings, skip the advice and try saying, "That sounds tough, how are you managing?" Sometimes, being heard helps more than being helped.