The Art Of Human Connection: Expert Explains Why Behavioural Intelligence Matters Today

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In every workplace and institution today, people talk about productivity, innovation, digital fluency, and strategy. Yet one skill quietly decides whether all of this will work or fall apart. This skill is behavioural intelligence. It sounds technical, but at its heart, it is the ability to understand another person's inner world and respond with clarity and respect. In a society that is quick to judge and even quicker to react, this ability is becoming essential.

We spoke to Hemant Lawanghare, Author of Atman Intelligence and Founder - MasterMyLife EQ Education, who explained the importance of behaviour intelligence.

The starting point of behavioural intelligence rests on one simple principle. Accept others as they are. It is an ordinary idea that carries years of accumulated wisdom. Every person carries a story shaped by experiences and vulnerabilities.

"When we try to force people into our own definition of what is correct or appropriate, we create distance. When we allow them the dignity of their individuality, connection begins to grow. Acceptance is not agreement. It is the willingness to recognise another person's humanity, even when it is different from our own," explained Lawanghare.

A Story of Acceptance That Changed a Life

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A powerful example of this principle comes from Dr Temple Grandin's life. Born in a time when autism was poorly understood, she was once told she would never speak or live independently. But her mother chose understanding over fear. She watched her daughter's world patiently, observing what she was drawn to, respecting her discomfort with touch, and nurturing her interests in art and animals instead of dismissing them.

Her approach came from a simple belief: love doesn't force people to fit our expectations; it gives them room to grow into themselves. Grandin often says her achievements were possible because someone accepted her exactly as she was. Her story shows that acceptance isn't soft; it's a force that can transform a life, said Lawanghare.

Moving Beyond the Golden Rule

"Another principle within behavioural intelligence asks us to rethink a familiar idea. The Golden Rule tells us to treat others the way we want to be treated. Behavioural intelligence invites us to go further. Treat people the way they want to be treated. This shift appears small, but it changes the quality of human interaction," added Lawanghare.

Respect cannot be defined only by our intention. It has to include the preferences and needs of the other person. A workplace example makes this clear. "A manager may think that the best way to appreciate a team member is through monetary rewards. But one colleague may value public recognition. Another may seek a more flexible time. A third may prefer private feedback. If the manager follows only his preferred style, he misses what truly matters to the individuals he leads. When he adjusts his approach to what each person values, motivation becomes authentic and trust deepens," advised Lawanghare.

This principle is like learning another person's language. Speaking only our own may keep the exchange going, but much will be lost in translation. Learning a few words of their language opens the possibility of a genuine connection. Behavioural intelligence is built on this kind of awareness.

Leadership Through Understanding

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Howard Schultz built Starbucks on the idea of understanding people's real needs. Growing up in a working-class family and watching his father lose his job without support shaped his belief that dignity and security matter. So when he led Starbucks, part-time employees received healthcare, stock options, and education support, benefits designed from genuine insight, not optics.

"This sensitivity extended to customers, too. Starbucks became a place where people could feel at ease, from quiet corners for introverts to familiar greetings for regulars. Schultz often said the company wasn't in the coffee business serving people, but in the people business serving coffee," shared Lawanghare.

One town-hall moment captured this mindset: a young employee spoke about struggling to balance work and college, and Schultz didn't just empathise, he acted. The Starbucks College Achievement Plan was born, helping thousands study further. It showed how leadership rooted in understanding can truly change lives.

A Skill for an Age of Disconnection

"Behavioural intelligence is not about being agreeable or soft. It asks for awareness, reflection, and patience. It reminds us that differences are meaningful. It teaches us that acceptance builds confidence. It shows that respect requires curiosity about the person in front of us," explained Lawanghare.

In a time when people often speak past one another and misunderstandings multiply with ease, behavioural intelligence brings us back to something very basic. People want to be seen without judgement. They want to feel understood. They want to belong.

"When we practise this skill, even in small ways, we create environments where individuals do not have to defend who they are. They can participate fully. They can contribute their real abilities. And that is what strengthens workplaces, families, and communities. Behavioural intelligence is not a soft skill. It is a human skill. It is also the skill that will matter even more as our society grows more connected yet more divided," highlighted Lawanghare.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for general informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or a qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.